who am i? - a cardfight!! vanguard fanfic

prologue - n i g h t m a r e

kai's pov

~ d r e a m ~

"toshiki! run! run awa- ack!" a female voice screamed as she was stabbed from behind as she falls helplessly on top of her lifeless lover.

"mom? dad?" i whispered, horror filling my voice. i immediately run up to their lifeless bodies. "mom? dad?wake up.. please..." i slowly shook their lifeless bodies trying to wake my parents, my only parents. when there was no response i slumped down onto the floor, in shock of what just happened.

"oh look! we missed their little shrimp!" a voice said as i turned around to see 3 men, each one was holding a knife. "oh yea! let's get him!" i immediately tensed up at their words. i sat there frozen unable to do anything. the man in the middle raised up his knife as he said.

"just so you know, if it wasn't for you, they'd be alive. it's all your fault."

~ d r e a m e n d ~

i woke up with a start, panting and gasping. i scanned around my room before trying to calm my beating heart. i clutched my chest as i groaned out in pain. i took deep breathes to help calm myself down, which proved helpful as the pain in my chest soon disappeared. after i had fully calmed down, i turned to my right to check the time. it was currently 7:24 in the morning, i had to get ready for school. i really did not want to go to school, i felt sick. but then again, if i don't go, miwa would probably head in here and i wouldn't here the end of it. maybe i should just go. with that in mind, i slowly got out of bed and headed into the bathroom.

this is the 6th nightmare in a row...

i thought to myself as i took my sweaty pyjamas off and headed into the shower. i flinched as my skin was met with freezing cold water. i sat there letting the cold water wash my feelings away. i'd always do this before anything else because if i didn't, i wouldn't stop thinking about everything and eventually have another panic attack. the last time it had happened was when i was all alone, which didn't help, and ended up being unconscious for 3 days and had a high fever for 2 weeks.

i wouldn't want that to happen again...

i thought to myself as i got out of the shower. i quickly took a peek out in my room to check the time. it was currently 7:47 in the morning, i'm running late. i quickly changed into my uniform. i combed my hair until it was back to its old spiky form. i headed into the kitchen and decided not to eat, considering thar i was running late anyways. i grabbed my school bag and deck before heading out the door of my apartment.

as i continued to walk my way to hitsue high, i couldn't take my head out of the final words from that memory.

it's all my fault...

it was my fault my parents died. even the rest of my family agreed, they threw me out when i was old enough to live by myself. to be honest, i was glad about it. when i used to live with my uncle, everyday i would come home from school and he would beat me up, while continuously blaming me about his little sister's death (kai's mom). my other cousins, aunts, and uncles knew about this but said nothing. they all did blame me, so i had to endure it, for years. it was my fault after all. even ren, he fell into the depths of psyqualia, all because of me. i couldn't save him. i was weak... no i am weak.

"hey kai!" i heard an all-too-faniliar voice from behind. i touched my face only to find out that i had been crying. i quickly wiped my eyes as i put my emotionless mask on once more before facing him again. "hey." i said with my usual coldness.

good thing he came... if he didn't i would have gotten another attack.

i thought to myself as we both entered through the gates if hitsue high.