Rule

Run

She was 17 years old.

Just a child, and she was already betrothed.

The weight of becoming queen weighing down upon her weak shoulders, already delicate from royalty itself. Both her parents dead, and now the spot of queen was opened up. 

Both her parents had mysteriously died a month ago, and the kingdom blamed Lilliandil for their death. It was just a rumor, but everyone did well to stay away from her anyway. Of course she didn't kill them, but the kingdom didn't believe that.

Lilliandil was just going on to 18, and she was already betrothed. On the outside, she was just a proper girl: carefully placing a satin linen napkin down on her lap during each meal. Carefully dabbing at the sides of her mouth each time she placed a piece of food in her mouth. Only spoke when she was spoken to. She was everything a proper princess was on the outside, but on the inside, she was a depressed mess. 

Screaming loudly on the inside, tearing her hair and thrashing around. Everything around her was blocked out. She felt like throwing up and crying her eyes out, but that wasn't what a proper lady would do. She had been taught the royal way of life since she was born. Sometimes Lilliandil wished she could be her scullery maid, who didn't have the weight of the world upon her shoulders. 

. . .

A soft breeze of air washed over Lilliandil as she lay asleep in her big bed. She had left her window open over the night. Normally, the rays of sunshine pouring through and shining down upon someone would've cheered them up, due to the fact that it meant a new day was here. But for Lilliandil, it was just another day of torture she had to face. Another day of being proper and not being able to speak your mind. 

She grabbed the blanket with herself and rolled out of her bed, just as a fork might be unrolled out of a napkin. Her hair was a mess. She didn't care, but the public did. Her new . . . . fiancee did. Her maid carefully undid Lilliandil's braid, then she took a comb and brushed her hair as carefully as she could. Maybe, just maybe, Lilliandil wouldn't have hated it that much to be married to any other prince. But it had to be Prince Allard.

Her worst fear was her, stuck in her miserable life forever, never able to escape. She would stay depressed and trapped in a confined cage for the rest of her gloomy life. Once Lilliandil had breakfast, she left the castle and went outside the palace gates. She hid her identity under a brown cloak. Once she was in the outside kingdom, she would buy groceries to her liking. She bought what any normal commoner would kill to have and gave it to them as gifts. She walked up to a stand that was full of the richest, ripe, shiny red apples. 

"Hello miss, can I get you anything? Would you like a basket of our fresh, ripe apples?" The man at the stand asked. "Yes please. How much?" Lilliandil questioned. "Each basket costs 5 gold coins," the man replied. Lilliandil fished the coins out of her pocket and handed it to the man, he gave her the basket. She thanked him and walked off with it, then she roamed into the poorer part of the kingdom. There was a family sitting outside, holding a single hat for coins to pile up in. But it was completely empty. 

Lilliandil walked over to them, she was sure to keep her hood down so they wouldn't recognize her. She handed them the basket of apples and a few gold coins. "They'll be good to buy a loaf of bread. Go to the bakery and buy one. It'll be enough to feed you and your family," she told them. The woman's eyes teared up and she grabbed her hand. "Thank you so much, kind lady. It means so much to us. God bless you," she thanked. The other family members repeatedly thanked her and began gobbling up the apples like a pack of hungry wolves. 

Lilliandil smiled at the sight. Even this family looked happier than her, and she sure hoped they were. She pitied anyone who was as unhappy and miserable as she was. She quickly returned to the palace and to the castle, where her maid was waiting. "Where did you go?" She asked. "I went to feed the homeless. They deserve more than they get. They're out there starving with hardly any food or water, and no one helps them. I make it my job," Lilliandil explained. "We've talked about this, Lilliandil," her maid began. 

"Yes, I know—" "It's dangerous for you to be out there. Someone could recognize you," the maid warned. "But I'm the princess, no one would dare try to hurt me," Lilliandil insisted. "Have you heard not of the savage rebellions against the royal family outside the palace gates?" The maid asked. "Especially considering that the kingdom thinks you assassinated your parents. Those people will show you no mercy. Have you not seen?" "I have, but—" "And you are queen, not princess," the maid interrupted. Lilliandil got up from her chair and looked down at her maid with anger in her eyes. "You will not speak of that. The coronation has not happened, and we will not speak of it until it does. Understood?" She said sternly. 

"Yes, Your Highness. Of course," the maid immediately replied, curtsying. "I didn't mean disrespect. Please forgive me. I'll take a whipping if—" "Please, Judy. You know I don't do that. I just don't want any bringing up of the coronation until it occurs, it doesn't make me happy," Lilliandil told her. "Of course, Your Highness," Judy, the maid, said. "And please, don't call me that. I'm not my mother. Just call me Lily, you've known me for so long," Lilliandil added. "You need to be ready," Judy reminded her, she began to dress her. Lilliandil had to look nice. She was meeting Prince Allard today, the man she was betrothed to.

The most dreadful part of getting dressed; the corset. With every knot her maid tied, the corset hugged her waist tighter and tighter. Soon, Lilliandil felt like all the breath had escaped her body. "Might I ask for you to make it a little less tight?" She asked. "Just a little less, Your Highness. You need to look your best today," her maid reminded her. "Yes, how could I forget?" Lilliandil said, trying to ease the trembling anger in her voice. "I know it's been hard for you. Living without a mother and father, the weight of becoming queen upon your shoulders. I understand—" "No you don't," Lilliandil said in a small voice. 

"You don't understand what it feels like to be trapped inside your own emotional cage. An emotional cage you can't get out of, and people just laugh at you and at how miserable you are. It's so much. The sudden death of my parents, and people thinking I did it. And the role as queen moving on to me. Everyone will constantly be trying to kill me for the crimes they think I have committed. What used to be a happy life for me is now depressing and tough, and that's what I've always had to face since I was born. I'm royalty. And people out there, they're so jealous of me. They want what I have. And I wish they only knew, it's not a luxury life. It's an eternal imprisonment of torture, and you can't get out of it. I'd rather be homeless than be some stupid princess!" She threw her crown to the floor and Judy quickly swooped down to pick it up.

"Be careful, Your Hi— I mean, Lily. This was your mother's crown, and it's soon to be yours. You need to take great care of it," Judy cautioned her. "It may mark my royalty, but it's just a stupid shiny piece of junk that doesn't make me who I am. I'm not a princess on the inside, I just want to be free," Lilliandil said, her voice breaking. "I'm sorry, Lily. I wish you didn't have to go through this. I wish I could take the burden from you," Judy told her. "No, don't wish that. Trust me, you wouldn't want to bear my burden," Lilliandil refused, she hesitated. "I . . . I have to leave. I have to leave this palace, I have to leave this kingdom. I don't know where I'll go, but I'll go as far away from here as possible. I'll change my name and hide my identity. I can't stay here any further, it's tearing me apart. It's too much for me. I was never meant for this." 

"You can't do this! The whole kingdom is relying on you as their new ruler! They're depending on you. You need to be there for them," Judy protested. "It's not who I was meant to be. I was meant to be a free soul, not trapped in royalty and rule forever," Lilliandil said. "I will miss you, Judy. But if Prince Allard comes, you must promise me to tell him the worst happened. Tell him to inform the kingdom of my shocking death. I died from a sudden illness. King Allard can take over, he'll rule in my place." "I can't—" "Please, Judy. You have to tell him," Lilliandil pleaded, taking Judy by the hands. "Swear to me. I can't ever return to this kingdom. Soon everyone will come looking for me. They can't know where I have gone."

"But where on Earth will you go? You don't know the world outside of this kingdom," Judy said. "I don't care where I end up. Anywhere is better than here," Lilliandil replied. "What if Prince Allard sends search parties out for you? He'll come looking for you sooner or later," Judy explained. "And he won't find me," Lilliandil finished. "Just promise me you'll tell him the worst happened, and tell him to tell the kingdom. I need a new life. This one doesn't fit me anymore." She grabbed a satchel and started stuffing things into it: apples, bananas, a dagger, a rope, a loaf of corn bread, and a pouch of water. She put her cloak on and threw the hood over her head, doing well to hide her face. "I will miss you, Judy. Our paths shall cross some day, a long time from now," she told Judy, then she opened the window, tossed the rope out, and climbed down. She took off running, not looking back. She never wanted to return again.