The unfaithful love

The unfaithful love

I was 14 at the time, I was so stupid and didn't know all the consequences to loving someone so much. It was her. Let's not get ahead of myself. So my name is Ryan I am currently 17, when I was 14 I dated this girl, Ashley. She was the one every boy wanted. She was the captain of the cheerleading squad, perky, blonde, people would describe her as perfect, I thought so too.

I knew that she would never date a guy like me. She had Daniel, you know the jock, the quarterback, the one that would never notice someone like me.

I never knew that she would ever want me, until that night at the party. She was drunk and really upset about something Daniel did. I never found out what but I would never ask her, not then, not ever. I can't bring myself to ask.

Anyways back to that night. It started out like any party Beer, music, dancing. I know I wasn't old enough to drink but then I saw her.

On her sixth drink, she was trying to walk over but she fell. I ran and picked her up, and took her to a hotel room that I have been living in alone because my parents hated me.

She layed on the bed and started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she said that it was all Daniel's fault. She then started unbuttoning my shirt while kissing me. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted her so bad, I let her. We continued and in the morning she lay. Both of us looked at eachother in disbelief. I couldn't believe that actually happened. I lossed my virginity last night to a girl who had a boyfriend. She whispered three words I never thought i would hear her say to me, I love you. That afternoon she was still chilling in my hotel room. I asked her why she wanted to be with me when she had a boyfriend. She told me that she doesn't really love him but he told her if she broke up with him he will tell everyone her secret. She kissed me, and I kissed her back. We started making out I keeped thinking about what's going to happen because she can't break up with him she made that really clear, I didn't know what the secret was but I knew it was something that couldn't get out.

The next day we both walked to school just talking, when we got there she went over to Daniel and I went to my locker just watching them, thinking about how could I guy like him threaten her. Why, it's not even fair to her.

When I got back to the hotel room after school Ashley was there waiting for me. She welcomed me with a kiss and a smile. I stood there waiting for her to stop talking. She stopped and asked what was wrong and I asked her what's going to happen with this, I mean us. She just started crying and locked herself in the bathroom.

The next morning was like the morning before we walked to school together, but instead of talking it was complete silence. I wanted to say something, but how am I suppose to talk with everything going on.

Again we went are separate ways. Daniel tried to kiss her and she slapped him. They started arguing and that she is breaking up with him. He reminded her of the deal and the consequences of the choice that she was about to make. She said that she didn't care no more and that she's done and walked over to me. I put my arm around her, happy that I could finally do that in public without any worries.

Me and her ate lunch together and she didn't even bring up the hole breakup thing. We just sat there and talked. Daniel stood on top of the table and got everyone's attention. He told everyone the secret about Ashley. He said that he sent everyone a nude picture of her and also that she was pregnant last year and that's why she transferred to this schools.

Ashley ran to the hotel crying. I followed her to make sure she was okay. She went straight to the bathroom still crying, I knocked on the door and told her to open up but she wouldn't. Suddenly I couldn't hear her breathing I was freaking out. I broke open the door and saw her with a razor, which she cut with and a bottle of pills almost empty laying beside her.

I was so scared I didn't know what to do. I ran to the phone dialled 911 and made sure that the ambulance was coming. They came and took her to the hospital. I ran over there as fast as I could, found the room and just stood there and looked at her. It felt like my heart stopped beating. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. The doctor came in and told me the news. Ashley was died. They couldn't do anything about it.

I went outside to this old suicide tree with the rope there. I don't know why it's still there but someone famous apparently commited suicide there. I put it around my neck and started to pull. As I pulled I started to cry wondering what brought me to this point, of me wanting to die. I couldn't live without her, I needed her. My eyes closed and I don't remember anything after that.

When I woke up I found myself in a mental hospital. I totally freaked out, I guess I was pretty loud they heard me and rushed in. They explained to me what all happened. Someone from the hospital found me and took me there.

I slept there that night and the strangest thing happened. Ashley came to visit me she told me that even though she is not alive and I couldn't see her, she is still there, and that I needed to get out of this hospital.

*present day*

I now realize what a fool I was, she never loved me. She only wanted to get out of her relationship with Daniel. She just wanted a reason to break up with him so that she had a reason to die. I haven't had a girlfriend since I recently came out as being gay. I always knew that there was something different about me, but I never thought it would be this.

I don't care what people think of this, my story. I just needed to tell someone about this. The lowest point in my life where I wanted to die because of love. Love means you can't live without them. That doesn't mean if they die you should too. I realized that if it happens they are still in your thought and memories, they are still with you, even if you can't see them, no matter what.