Life After Baby

Meet Baby Menough

                Maria looked at the clock; it was 6AM, a week after the baby was born and there Maria lay in bed, not able to sleep. She had another 9 weeks off from work, although she kind of wished she didn’t. She had been working for over a decade now and she hated to slow down. She got out of bed slowly as to not wake up Derek, and quietly changed into her jogging clothes. She peaked into the nursery to make sure the baby was sleeping. She grabbed Romy and her headphones, and made her way outside. She and Romy ran around the block and to the nearby park. They got there and stopped to look at the view of Los Angeles. She kneeled down and pet Romy as he looked up at her with his big brown eyes. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt. This should be a happy time in her life, but she couldn’t help feeling disconnected. She hadn’t wanted to do anything & she barely slept since she got back from the hospital. Derek said it was normal— that his sisters had gone through it—but she felt she should take her doctor’s advice to get some counseling and work through it. Romy barked at some birds which distracted her thoughts.
“Come on, Romy, we better get back and get ready for everyone coming over.”
He barked with joy and they jogged back to the house.
“Hey,” Derek said as he walked into the room with the baby in his arms. “Did you go jogging again?”
“Yah, it’s become routine lately.”
“That’s good. Jules called. She and Ryan will be here in a bit.”
“Great,” she responded as she walked away and into her bedroom to change her clothes and get ready for their company. She put on dark jeans and a blue blouse. “I look like shit,” she said to herself. She hated the way she felt. She wanted to make the bad feelings go away. She put on her make up and shoes. The doorbell rang and she took a deep breath. She’d been putting this get together off for days. Derek was understanding, but encouraged her to introduce their closest friends and family to their baby girl. Maria went downstairs and saw Julianne sitting on the couch, looking very pregnant.
“Hi, Jules,” she said, smiling for the first time all day. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m ready for her to be here. How are you?”
“I’m ok.”
“Hey, Mar”—Derek interrupted—“do you want to get her now?”
“Yah. I’ll be right back.” She excused herself and made her way to the nursery. She walked to the crib and looked in. Derek had dressed her in the cutest pink polka dot dress, which made her smile. “Come on, baby girl,” she said to her as she picked her up. “I’ve got some people for you to meet.”
By the time they got downstairs, the room was full of family and friends. They swooned over the baby.
“So? What did you name her?” Julianne asked anxiously.
“This,” Maria replied, “is Dia.”*
“That is a beautiful name,” Ryan answered. Maria smiled.
"Do you want to hold her?” she asked Julianne.
“Yeah.”
Maria passed Dia to Julianne.
“I’ll be right back.”
She left the room and walked upstairs. Julianne held Dia in her arms.
“How is she doing?” Julianne inquired as she motioned toward the stairs.
“She’s ok,” Derek responded. “Still not herself.”
“She’ll come around. She just needs time.” She looked at Dia in her arms. “I want to talk to her.”
“Want me to hold her?”
“No, I’ll take her, just put her in her carrier.”
“Why the carrier?” Derek asked.
“Well, I can’t walk up the stairs with her in my arms. Obviously,” she said, pointing to her stomach.  Derek laughed and set Dia in her seat. Julianne took her and walked upstairs to find Maria.
She found her sitting in the blue chair in the nursery, looking out the window.
“What are you looking at?”
“Hi, Jules,” she replied without taking her eyes off the window. “I’m just thinking.”
“About?”
“Why I feel so… disconnected.”
Julianne picked up Dia from her seat and held her in her arms. “Maria, look.”
Maria looked at her and smiled softly, if only for a second.
“This is your beautiful creation. She needs you. You have to find a way to see that.”
Maria nodded and began to cry. “I know.”
“I mean, just look at her; she’s so darling, so innocent. I know I’m technically not a parent yet, but still—as parents our duty is to love and protect them. Help them grow into good, beautiful people.”
Maria looked at Julianne carrying Dia.
“Look at you,” she said, sniffling, “you’re a natural.”
“You are, too, Mar—beneath your fear.”
Julianne walked toward her. “Here.”
She transferred baby Dia to Maria. “Before you know it, you two will be inseparable.”
Looking in her arms, Maria hoped she was right.

She spent the next month working on herself.
“The feeling will pass,” the doctor said. “You just got to give it time.”
And she did. She discovered art therapy. She read articles and books about other moms feeling that way and overcoming it. She felt inspired. She started to spend a little more time with Dia. She could see the light of their future and for the first time she felt complete joy.

Drew woke to find Maria not lying next to him. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and made his way to Dia’s room. He saw Maria sitting with Dia in a way she never had before.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” Maria responded, smiling. “Look at her. She is so adorable.”
“She definitely is.”
He walked closer to her.
“How are you feeling?” he asked standing next to her. “:Really good,” she replied. “I had a dream last night. You were in it. Me and Dia, too.”
“What happened?”
“I was watching you two through the window—this window—as you played with her outside. You were so good with her. And Dia kept growing older. But I wasn’t there with you.” She looked at Dia. “I want to be there. And I’ve made a decision to. I am going to be here for her always.”
Derek smiled.
“We both will. Our beautiful little family.”

—–

A/N: Mia is a form of Maria. Mia + Derek = Dia