Chemistry

Chapter 19

He come sits next to me on the bed, he takes my hand and holds it in his. I'm not going to pull away this time. He moves a little closer to me, we sit inches away from each other. I rest my head on his shoulder. We sit for quite a while like this. I feel safe when I'm with him. I lift my head from his shoulder, he turns a little to me, I do the same. He puts his hand on my cheek and moves a little closer with his head. We are very close.

"What are we going to do about the stalking and everything?" I say, while I'm moving my head away from him.

"I really don't know."

We sat for a while in the silence. I rethink everything that just happen, he tried to kiss me and I pulled my head away. I was stupid, I'm always stupid...

We just sit there, both of us staring at the ground, it is kind of awkward.

"I should go. I'm sorry, this was all my fault. I think it is better if I just stay away from you, like you wanted in the beginning. If I stay away, they won't hurt you, I think. Well if I stay away they will focus more on me than you. Don't try to text or call me, they will see it. Goodbye forever Niks," Kevin says with a brittle voice.

I want to tell him not to go. I want to tell him to stay with me and never leave. I want to tell him how I really feel and how he makes me feel safe. That we will get through all of this. The words just won't come out my mouth, it's like their stuck there. I can't say anything, I'm frozen. He turns around and climbs out of the window, he doesn't even look back. I want to stop him but my legs are numb. I can't get up or yell at him to just say that he must stay. I don't think I will see him again and it breaks my heart to think so. Somehow I understood him and I think he understood me.

I lay back down on my bed, it breaks my head to think about all of this that had happen this past couple of weeks. The one that visited me the most the last time is my own tears, they visit me again, I cry. I cry about Kevin, he understood me, he protected, he is the one who made me feel safe. Now everything is gone...