i sat in bed alone, staring at the wall. i was scared to go into the living room, but i knew i would have to eventually. i could hear various noises coming from the kitchen as he prepared dinner. i felt my phone buzz next to me, and i looked down to see a text from bella. haven't seen u in forever. u doin okay girl? i ignored it, knowing he checks my messages each night. i'm not supposed to be talking to them anymore. he's all i need.
i heard him open the cabinet and get down plates, so i knew i should probably head out there. i walked tentatively into the kitchen on light feet, and i sat down at the table as he set two plates of food down. i stayed quiet, and the only sound for a little while was quiet scraping of fork against plate. "did you call the electric company?" he asked. i bit my lip, already scared of his reaction. "no," i said quietly. he sighed and looked angry. he took a breath. "call them tomorrow." i nodded.
neither of us said anything for a little while longer. "did you pick up those batteries i asked you to get?" he questioned. god, how did i forget. i stopped my rhythmic movements. "i forgot," i said in barely a whisper. "why can't you ever do what i ask?" he asked in a condescending tone. "i'm sorry," i said quietly. he didn't respond.
we ate in silence, just the quiet sound of the tv coming from the other room to fill my thoughts. once we were both done, i set my fork onto my plate. "may i be excused?" i requested. he nodded, standing up from the table and going into the other room. i picked up our plates and brought them over to the sink.
rinsing and scrubbing, i washed the dishes and set them onto the drying mat to dry. he walked in as i was finishing up and drying my hands on a towel. he looked at one of the plates i had washed and picked it up. my heart started racing. "there's still soap on this," he said quietly yet with such force. "there's going to be spots when it dries," he continued. "you really are the most incompetent person i know," he muttered. i didn't know what to do. making eye contact with me and having such a neutral expression on his face, he raised the plate above his head, and i knew what was going to happen just milliseconds before it happened.
letting the plate fall, it crashed to the ground and shattered. i jumped a little from the noise, and a quiet yelp escaped my mouth as shards of ceramic skirted in my direction. the same eerie expression was on his face as his eye contact with me never wavered. horrified, i walked quickly back to my room, not wanting to find out what he'd do next.
i held back the tears, wondering why i couldn't do anything anymore. i bit my trembling lip and rolled over onto my side when he entered the room about half an hour later. i heard him shut and lock the door, and i shuddered. "i'm sorry i lost my temper," he said softly, and i believed him. "i just want you to learn from your mistakes and learn how to do things better," he explained. i gave a small nod and felt him slide into the bed as well.
his lips attached to my neck, and he began kissing down my jawline and tracing along my neck. i didn't want to right now, but i was scared to say no. i couldn't. and this would make him happy. this would make him think i was doing something right. so i went along with it. i let whatever he wanted to happen, happen. he pulled my shirt over my head, and i knew he loved me and just wanted to feel closer to me. i hoped in this short period of time, he wouldn't think bad of me. i hoped in this short time he'd be happy or proud of me. i hoped for this short amount time he wouldn't be angry.
