Smash!

•F O R T Y F O U R•

Riley's POV

"... Then making up for those mistakes. Starting with saving Robin!" With Jamie's every word, my heart pounds a bit harder in my chest.

The handfuls of snow are harshly cold in my fists, numbing my joints till I'm fighting to stay upright. Jamie's is under me. Her red hair is a stark contrast against the snow. She's as pale as the snow, her usual sandy freckles looking brown compared against the sickly hue. The cloudy huffs of my ragged breath fog across the bridge of her nose. Jamie's green eyes flutter open and shut repeatedly, a dazed look on her face.

"Jamie?" I call Jamie's attention, her eyes focusing on me for the briefest of moments.

A sudden fear for Jamie's well being closes up my throat. Worse case scenarios run rampant in my mind, the paranoia completely disrupting my logic. What if Jamie hit her head on the way down when she fell? Could she have gotten a concussion?! The possibility of hypothermia rushes through my head, wounding me up even more. Even worse, could Jamie's tattoo be infected? Infected tattoos are a hit to immune systems... could she somehow have blood poisoning so soon?! A small voice in the back of my head manages to remind me how unlikely that is.

"Jamie," I call her again. Maybe I should just drop her off at the nearest hospital. Just leave her on the first stretcher I see in the emergency room, while I go off to face Nate and help Robin. There Jamie will be safe. Though I'm not a 100% certain if that will be the last time I'd see her again.

Whatever happens... will happen. I'll just have to live with it... or not. It just matters that Jamie and Robin will be okay.

"Jamie." I call her one last time, my voice tight and emotional. Her green eyes fully shut the closet I get. My elbows wobble as I sink down to get closer to her. I didn't even realize my lower lip is trembling till it lands against Jamie's mouth. Her lips are uncharacteristically chapped, the usual softness gone, but I don't give a single damn.

I forgot how good it is to kiss Jamie. I forgot how all the bad things go away when I'm this close to her. I forgot how just the faintest brush of her lips makes me feel so alive. I forgot how nothing feels more right than this.

Balancing on one hand, my left cups her chin so I can deepen the kiss. I started off with such a simple little kiss, just a plant of the lips for the last time. Why? I can't describe it in words, it was just an overwhelming need. But now, I can feel her kissing me back, her head tilting up into me, her lips making me a bit dizzy.

I breakaway for air, my lungs sending me a painful reminder to breathe. Jamie's eyes hurriedly blink open. She gives her head a soft shake, her red hair going in my face. I hoist her up too fast, and she fumbles into me. She's conscious... just as relief settles, a new wave of panic hits.

I kissed her... she kissed me back? I shouldn't have kissed her. Regret makes my blood pound in my ears. I can't do this to her all over again, especially with this Nate disaster. A rush of ugly white hot shame stops my breathing all together.

"Did I—" Jamie stammers, disorientation heavy on her freckled face. Threatening to fall back over, her hands clutch on me like I'm a life line."Did I just pass out?

"Yeah," I swallow my lie thickly, nearly choking down on my deceit. "you did." I can't tell whether I'm relived or not that Jamie doesn't know. Though, I'm sure I'm giving myself away with the look on my face. I can't stop myself, needing to hold her, I clutch her to my chest, a small part of me glad I don't have to abandon her some hospital. A larger part of me disappointed in myself.

"Don't scare me like that." I mumble into her red hair.

Jamie's POV

"Is this it?"

"Yeah," Riley weakly nods. "We're here." After loitering for a bit longer in front of the convenience store, we hesitantly trudged our way to Nate's apartment. It was a dead silent bus ride over. Only just one away from the convenient store. But for the shirt duration, we held onto each other's hands with a white knuckle grip, while seating so close, there wasn't even a hair of room between us. Instead, we rested our heads against each other, and tried to enjoy the heated bus while we could.

Now back in the December air, we stand outside a rundown brick building. The windows are narrow, a few windows broken with what looks like bullet holes, but I tell myself the holes are from rocks.

Bad neighborhoods are nothing like what you see on TV. There aren't babies crying or scream matches from a toxic couple. Especially no gun shots. Instead, you hear music. Latin music comes from open windows, and passing cars. Kids stroll pass with rap blasting on their wireless speakers, and no one minds. Granted, there is some graffiti, but the big murals on the sides of buildings and under tunnels grab your attention. Old ladies walk home with bags of groceries, elder men play dominos, clusters of kids are joking around on their way back from school. The parking is tight, a lot of cars are bumper to bumper on the curbs. Nearby restaurants are busy, but the smell of the cooked food alone makes my mouth water.

The best part though is how people greet each other as they pass. I didn't even know my neighbors names growing up.

"Nate is in there." Riley breathes.

"That means Robin is in there." I say under my breath, gathering up every ounce of courage I have, I charge up the front steps with buckling knees. The sound of Riley's footsteps tapping behind me is a small comfort.

"What's the apartment number?" I whisper as if Nate is right behind me.

"Fifth floor." Is all Riley says. The elevator ride is too quick. Like a rollercoaster going up rather than plummeting down. My broken hand throbs a bit more with each passing floor. My ears start to burn with heart stopping anxiety. My heart is jammed up my throat, my mouth is painfully dry, my stomach is threatening to throw up everything any minute.

Just as the elevator doors glide open, Riley shoves me with a brutal force. The elevator wall hits hard against my spine.

"Run!" Riley orders with a panicked look on his face before punching the basement button. "Run for it!" Is the last thing he says as he bolts pass the closing doors.

"Riley!" Completely coming undone, I burst with a cracking voice filled with panic. My hands slam hard against the shut doors, the force echoing on the metal. My stomach lurches as I repeatedly press the five button with urgency, ignoring how much my broken thumb hurts.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I hoarsely yelp. I fight back the hot tears at the back of my eyes as the elevator starts to sink down. He went in alone! Completely alone and unarmed to face Nate, that maniac! My heart hammers so hard and uneven in my chest, I think I might pass out or just have a heart attack all together.

By the time the elevator reaches the bottom of the building, and rises back up, its been more than five minutes. A lot can happen in five minutes. A bullet can be fired and lodge itself in Riley in seconds alone.

When the doors finally open at the fifth floor, I'm ready to lung forward with a fierce desperation to save Riley. Racing forward, I smash right into Riley. Colliding hard, we both tumble into the wall with an intense thud.

"Riley!" I cup his face with shacking hands. My legs go like jelly seeing him intact... well more like still standing. Riley clutches his broken nose, swearing under his breath.

"Riley," I breathe. "Don't do that!" I give him a shake, feeling the sobs threatening to force their way past my throat.

"There's no one home. It was empty." Riley admits, not meeting my eyes. "Nate wasn't there. Robin isn't here."