the moon, the earth, we who are in-between.

who i am.

Not a single person on the face of the earth thought that there was nobody that was destined for them. Not a single person, Bulan thought to herself. She was a meek, clueless teenager, but she wasn't clueless enough to not know that soulmates existed all over the world, even without the media overexposing every single thing related to soulmates.

Bulan's skin was clear. Not a single skin oddity was visible on her mildly calloused skin, and she was disappointed to know that that probably meant that there was nobody in this world that was reserved for her even before birth. 

She did hope that maybe someday in the future, some form of mark would appear on her skin, but it's been 17 years and she was terribly sick of waiting. Unless a miracle was going to happen or a different and new form of soulmark was going to appear, Bulan was alone. She had nobody.

Nobody except for her family – though they were way down under, in Indonesia – and her aunt, who lived with her in San Francisco.

It still made her lonely, however, the feeling that nobody was destined for you; since unlike everybody else, they have some form of insurance that they were going to have someone in some way before life, and after death – while Bulan, did not.

A glass of orange juice snapped Bulan out of her thoughts, and as she looked up, her single mother, powerful and kind aunt was staring at her with an obvious look of annoyance. 

With an eyebrow quirked and a dimple pushed to existence due to her lips being pushed back so hard, it was a powerful look that signified annoyance, dominance and curiosity.

Bulan grabbed the glass that very nearly splashed her blouse, but her aunt pinched her hand, making the 17-year-old girl voice her pain and look up to her aunt with her own look of annoyance; a mouth open in a scowl, both her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes narrowed.

"What is it, Misa?" She asked, calling her aunt with her middle name. The woman before her gasped. Her hand raised to shield her mouth from air to feign a look that showed that she was offended.

"Bulan, you know I was just concerned for you. You looked like you were down again because of the... the soulmate thing. I told you that it was alright that you didn't have a mark, and it's even worse to have a mark and end up with a disappointment of a man," she referenced her own experience with her soulmate. 

Misa's soulmate was a contractor: a handsome, successful, convincing, manipulative, wholehearted liar. He was a good man at first glance, but the more time she spent with him, more unquestionably questionable activities began to unravel; and Misa, being the justice-driven young woman that she was back then wanted nothing to do with it. 

Some part of her regretted it, Bulan knew that, but she also knew that one way or another, they were going to make it to each other – which was why they were soulmates.

Despite each other's flaws, questionability, and social status, they were meant to be. That' s just how it is.

"You know what? I'm not even going to argue this time," Bulan gave up and ate the rest of her soup. An exasperated look made its way onto Misa's fair face, her hand removing itself from the cup of orange juice that she slammed onto the table to display her dominance towards her niece. A worried look etched itself on Misa's face and it didn't seem like it was going to cease soon, and soon the older woman sighed in exasperation.

"All I'm saying is that you shouldn't worry too much about it, really. You're only 17 years old and you're probably going to die at like, what, 70?" Misa joked, to which Bulan just rolled her eyes at. 

Her aunt was right, in a way, but even Bulan doesn't get to decide when she feels worried about things and when she's not. 

Bulan was going to say something back to her aunt before a sobbing noise began to sound itself from Misa's room – a sign that her toddler, Alya, was awake. Bulan grabbed hold of the cup before her and drank from it, nodding in the direction of her Aunt's room to tell her to take care of her child. Misa nodded and blew Bulan a kiss, rushing towards her own room. Bulan stood up from her seat and excused herself out of the house to leave for high school.

Bulan transferred to San Francisco with her Aunt only for second and third grade because for some reasons, Bulan's parents decided to allow her to go to school in the U.S. about a year after she asked; which was in the first year of high school – wait, no, the third year of Junior High, actually. She had no idea why they did that, and it didn't seem like they were going to tell her that anytime soon so she gave up on the idea of understanding why they did what they did.

Bulan wore her sneakers, slipped on her earphones and played a song on her iPod while thinking of her family and reason for being in the U.S. Her school wasn't too far away either so she walked to school while the thought of her family lingers in her mind a little longer than it does usually. 

When you're faced with the reality of your relationships in which you're alone with nobody out there meant for you, and you not being compatible with a single person out there, you rarely have anything to say – or, well, anything positive, really.

The Southeast Asian girl stared down at her beat up converse sneakers, the unwashed piece of garment seemingly more interesting than the view that she gets from across the large private school that she attended with several of her friends.

"A new year," she sighs to herself under her breath and with a step towards said school, her day, year, life and future,

"Here's to not fucking up this time, Bulan." 

Began. 

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this chapter is unedited as of 19/06/2018. thank you for reading the first chapter, i hope those of you who read this enjoyed it!