Addicted

Introduction

I've always be addicted to something in my life.

The first time that I was addicted to something was when I was five. I was addicted to playing my few baby dolls that my parents had gotten from community aid but had wrapped up all nice for me for Christmas since we couldn't afford toys from the actual toy store. The only memory that I actually remember was the day of my sixth birthday. That year my parents had decided to do something for my birthday instead of just our little family birthday where my dad made us our favorite dishes and we watched the birthday person's favorite movie. Since my birthday was right before the beginning of the summer the local fair had set up and it didn't cost more than $20 so my parents took me and my older brother there. I remember spending the whole day playing all the silly carnival games and riding all the sketchy rides that I wanted. My family left as it started getting dark and the crowds started to get heavy with teenagers and drunk people who never watched where they were going but right as we were walking out of the carnival I looked over a saw a small little carnival game stand that was nestled so deeply in the carnival that most people wouldn't have seen it all but that wasn't why it had caught my attention.

The prize of the game was one of the most beautiful teddy bears that I had ever seen. Its fur was the color of milk chocolate and looked as though it was made of pure cloud. I remember planting my tiny feet into the dirty carnival ground making some people curse at me as they had to move around me so that they didn't trip over my small body. My dad looked back at me with his caring dark brown and bent down and picked me up. He looked over to where I was pointing with my tiny fingers and started walking over to the stand. Once we had gotten over to the stand, my dad sat me back down on the ground and pulled out 5 tokens so that he could play. The teenager who was working the stand looked at my dad and then me and handed my dad 5 darts and explained to him that all he had to do was hit three of the balloons to win a small bear. My dad turned towards me and I pointed again at the teddy bear with the cloud fur and my dad asked the teenager how to win the big teddy bear. The teenager explained that he would have to 5 balloons in a row to win the teddy bear and that's exactly what my dad did. Once he was done the teenager took the teddy bear and handed it to me and said to me that I had a really great dad. I was so filled with joy that I hardly remember walking to the car or the ride back home.

That night my dad tucked me in and asked me what I was going to name my teddy bear and I looked with him puzzled look on my face. My dad brushed a piece of my light brown out of my face before kissing my temple and saying that he looked like a Mr. Fluffy and that's the name that stuck.

A couple of months later I watched for the first time my dad and mom fight right in front of me. I don't remember the reason why they were fighting but I do remember my dad blaming everything on my mom. He had cornered her into the corner of the kitchen and had shoved her up against the wall his hand right next to head blocking her way of escape. When I saw this I had started screaming for them to stop but my scream was blocked out by my father's loud powerful voice and that's when the first punch flew. Quinn, who had run to my side once he had heard me yelling, pushed me behind him has my dad kept punching my mom until she was curled in a tiny ball on the kitchen floor blood running down her face. I kept trying to break free from Quinn's grip but he held tight to me knowing that if he let go of me that my dad would take his anger out on me and could accidentally kill me. After my father had left the kitchen and then our house with a slam of the door Quinn walked towards our mom. The bruises had started to form on her face already. She paid no attention to either one of us and pushed herself up and walked out of the kitchen and into my parent's bedroom.

Quinn pulled me into a tight hug letting me cry since I didn't know what was happening at all. That night I slept in Quinn's room not hearing my father come back at 2 in the morning, drunk, and stumble into my parent's room where for the first time he forced himself on my mom.