Breaking Surface

Chapter Five

As Jack walked farther and farther away from the one girl he had ever truly cared about, his heart sank deeper and deeper. Every step echoed in his head, resonating off of his emptiness. Every step represented one more brick in the wall that Josh Wellerman had built between them. Every step took him farther away from Jill, and every step made him want to turn around and run back to her.

But he didn't turn around. He didn't run back to her. He didn't even do so much as to turn and look back at her. He just kept going, putting more and more distance between them with every step. Putting more and more cherished memories into the furnace of is heart, destroying them forever and leaving him him alone in the company of his solitude. Putting more and more agony in his heart, and fear in his brain. But he didn't stop walking until he could no longer see Jill.

He didn't attend his next classes. He didn't attend because he knew that Jill would be there, and that he would be expected to sit with her, and that everyone would look when he didn't. And then the whispers would begin.

Instead he went in search of the one person he could possibly relate to in the entire school.

***

"Amanda?" he said softly, walking up to his sister's locker.

"What do you want, Little Bro?" she snapped, shoving books into her bag.

"I don't know. I thought maybe we could... you know... talk. Like we used to."

"I'm busy," she replied, slamming her locker door closed. "Come back NEVER." She turned and started to walk away.

"Come on, Amanda!" he called after her, running up and catching her arm. "Please." He stared into her eyes, his ocean blue eyes reflected in her forest green ones. "Please," he repeated, not letting go of her arm.

"Fine," she said softly at last. "What's up, J?"

"It's about Josh," he said, and he saw her turn red. "He... he asked Jill to the Fall Ball. And she's... she's going with him."

"He asked JILL? Your FRIEND Jill? What does SHE have to do with anything?" she screamed.

"I... I don't know," he said shakily.

"He's up to something, the little weasel..." She rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "Here, let's go sit outside." She dragged him out to the benches in the schoolyard, ignoring the tardy bell as it rang.

"So what do you think he's up to?" he asked finally. There was a long silence as his sister thought it over.

"I don't know," she said at long last, sighing and ending the silence. "I really just don't know." She folded her arms across her chest again and leaned back on the bench. "Any ideas on what that two-faced lying weasel is up to?"

"Nope, none."

"It just... It just doesn't make sense. I mean, yes, Jill's nice and outgoing and pretty and funny, but, I mean, she's not Josh-material."

"That's what I tried to tell her, but she didn't understand!"

"Wait, you TOLD her that?" She burst out laughing. "That is SO guy! Only you would tell a girl that she wasn't 'Josh worthy'."

"Well, I didn't say it like THAT...."

"Uh huh. Riiiiiiiiiiight..." She giggled. "So, uh..." she continued, sobering up. "How do you feel about all this? You know... Jill going out with Josh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, her being your best friend and all."

"Well, we're not really friends anymore. I kinda messed everything up."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well, I kinda warned her not to go out with Josh and she... Well, she didn't exactly take it that well. And now she's... Well, she's really mad." He didn't mention that he thought Josh was trying to use the girls in his life to mess with him.

"Youch, you messed up."

"I know..." he agreed, his voice full of remorse. "But I don't know how I can fix it."

"So do you... you know... like her?"

"What?" he blushed.

"You know... LIKE her, like her," she grinned. "As in, more than just friends?"

"What? How could you say that?" he burst out.

"Well, then why are you so upset that she's going to the dance with Josh?"

"Because he's a jerk, that's why!" His face was starting to burn.

"Ok..." she said, not quite believing him. "If you insist..."

"I do insist," he pouted.

"Whatever. But either way, you can't stop them from being together."

"Huh?" He didn't understand. He had thought that his sister of all people would understand how important it was to break them apart, and now here she was, saying there was nothing they could do.

"Look, Jack. I know you don't want them to be together. I know you're worried about Jill. And I know you think that Josh is some evil being from afar. But there's nothing you can do about it, ok? Jill's her own person, you can't control who she's with. All you can do is support her."

"But-"

"Jack. Come on. Think about it."

He thought, and he let her words sink in. And the more he thought about them...

The more he realized she was right.

And the more helpless he began to feel.