Chasing Colors ||↛ #WattPride ↚

VII

2017

Who would've thought i would end up broken.
Who would've thought i would turn to something that i wouldn't expect.
Who would've even thought, I'd end up being Asexual.

Been left and tooken for granted by different people.
I grew tired of it and just accepted the fact that i do not fit anywhere.

I'd have friends who's part of the lgbt, they look happy single or not.
Why can't i just be like them?
My friends support me.
but my family started hating me every day.

Mom would tell me to fuck off and tell me I'm a disgrace to the family.
I'd ask dad for my favourite meal like he use too, yet he tells me im not his daughter and should just go 'Kill Myself'

Its hard.
very hard.

As if I was underwater, screaming for help. yet the only thing that would come out of my mouth was bubbles that represented my oxygen i had left.
Every scream had an exchange of choke.
Every bubble cost me to lessen my breathing.

They tell me i should open up more, and talk about it to people who care.
How would they even care when everytime i need them, not even one person stood beside me.

When they needed me,
I treated them like a friend.
When i needed them,
They treated me like a ghost.

I have tried screaming for help.
No one seems to hear.

Maybe its time that i shall stop screaming and just stay there wait for death to arrive at me.

Im tired,
Still scared,
Terrified,

if you heard me, would you help me?
I have the least bubble left in me,
maybe if i screamed one, just one bubble, would you help me?
Maybe..

Maybe i wouldn't be alone,
Finally help may come reach out to me,
Finally I,