This World's Not For Us

High School

Alexis P.O.V.

It is 2016, I am 14 years old and I am getting ready for school. I am so nervous. I am 200 pounds (This is important to know). I have long brown hair that goes down the my waist and I streighten it everyday. I put on my sleeping with sirens shirt with a flannel over it and skinny jeans. I look at myself in the mirror. It is raining outside. I live I Arizona so we close to never get any. I love the rain though.

I walk out of my room and into my bathroom. My twin is in there. I look to the floor and see a little spot of blood. I guess we forgot to clean that part up.
I smile at her and wave.

"Hi Jordan."

"Hey Alexis." Jordan says causally doing her makeup. "Ready for our first day of high school?" She ask with a smile.

I nodded and put on the best fake smile I could. "Yup!" Oh god. Too happy.
She walks out and looks amazing, I hope she has a good day. Now, it is time to go to school. Pull yourself together Alexis.

Jordan and I had homeroom together so it calms my nerves a bit. "Do you have my next class?" She ask. I look and my schedule and frown. "Nope. I got Music." She sighed. I am so scared. The bell rung and we headed different directions. It's okay Alexis. Just be nice and try to make friends.
I walked into the room and held my breath. There were so many people!!

"Hi, Mrs. Shregule?"

"Alexis! How good to see you! You sit right over there."

I nodded at her words. This is going to be a right space. All the people here at tiny and skinny and beautiful, then there is me. A 5ft 6in, 200 pound girl with a huge back pack. You can already guess that there were a lot of glares and "sorry" "excuse me" involved.

Once I sat down I finally let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Good lord, this was gonna be a long day.

I was in class when I got pulled out. Oh come on, what now.

"Alexis. We are aware of you being in the hospital this summer and of your mental illness. We have a few questions on a paper for up to answer honestly. Just so we know how to help." Some lady said at the front desk.

See, I thought 'Sweet! Finally a school wanting to help.' But oh no, they just didn't wanna deal with me. You see, I answered them honestly like they said and they punished me. We had a meeting with the school, my mum, and my case worker. Oh god.

Long story short they said they don't feel safe with me there. "We think Alexis is a danger to herself and others. So, we want her to go to a behavioral school called "The Aces". It would be a nice place for her until she is ready to come back." Oh hell no. I am NOT going to a school for kids with problems. I know I am one of them but come on!!

You won't believe it, my mum and case worker agreed!!! I had no say!!! Whatever I guess. So, after school I told Jordan and she was confused. We were driving to my therapy session and i was ready to go off.

Me and my therapist Lydia are close. She was there for me and believed me when no one else did. I have been with her for 2 years and i loved her. She knew exactly how to talk to me.

"So, Alexis, why don't you wanna go to this school?" Lydia asked.

I sighed very loudly and dramatically "Because I want to be a normal teen! For years, YEARS I have been hospitalized and treated like I am broken."

"Hun, they just want to see if to are safe. It can't be that bad. You aren't broken, but people might think that because of all the times up have tried to end it. It's gonna be okay. I promise."

I didn't think she should have made promises that she couldn't keep, but little did I know, she was more than right.

Later that night night home I was on my phone watching Dan and Phil. They were my only friends all summer. You see, January til July my sister and I didn't get along and she cut off our best friend Arianna, so I was alone. But thank the Lord's we are friends with her again and all getting along.

I turned off the video and stayed in silence. I am so scared for tomorrow. What's tomorrow you ask? Oh, it's the day I take a tour to The Aces and see how it goes. I start the school in three days.

The whole year I have felt so alone. Now going to a new school with no one I know and my sister busy with her other friends AND Arianna grounded all the time, I feel alone once again.