The Text Messages.

The story!

"Hallo! Wake up banana bob!" Said Rorri."Hi chicken." Said emily. "Hi there pumpkin square!" Yum yum tum tum!" "Hi bob saget's crusty toenail. Tum tum yum yum." "Yayyy." "Yogurt land squishy poo. more cake for Darius please!" Texted Rorri. "Cake cake cake cake here you go Darius." "thanks!" said Darius as he pooped on Emily's dog, Ozzie. Ozzie proceeded to eat the fecal matter. Darius pooped on Ozzie again. "Pie toufle." said ozzie. The fecal matter was delicious. "Welcome!" replied darius. He then went into town and bought a bucket of dead babies. Except one was still alive. The only way out would be to eat through the other babies. Before he could do that, Darius dumped them into a pan and sautéed them for himself and his tiny afroed friend, ozzie. The alive baby yelled "AYYYE DARIUS!" "HOLY JESUS!" screamed darius. He cooked the baby anyways. It was delicious. Darius pooped on Ozzie again. Ozzie ate it again like he was at yogurt land. "Yum!" "Yum indeed." said darius. Suddenly his mom walked in. "DARRY BERRY, WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP." Yelled his mom, Shrek. "I'm just eating babies." he replied. "You should try some!" "Ok darius. Pass me some babies." "his mom/dad/shrek." Shrek at the babies. "I'm so glad I made you with mike wasowski." Shrek said. "I'm so glad that mike is my dad too! then I can kiss his boyfriend sulley." said Darius. "Sulley died last night son. Im sorry. He just got too TURNT with Elsa. Mike killed him." "OH well. Maybe mike will get with that girl elsa. I think she needs control of her emotions." "She needs to....Let it go." "I agree." "Now lets TWERK son. it's great practice for your senior citizen years." "Oh yes mother. that would tickle my toungue butt." "By the way, you have a rip in your underwear." "that was on purpose son. It's easier to fart that way then." "I get it mom. Guess what happened today?" said Darius to his mother over a plate of steaming hot chili babies that Ozzie had just prepared. "What son?" "I eloped with a rubies cube today." "Was it puzzling?"