Sixteen. I've been waiting to turn 16 since I was...well, born, I guess. In all the movies, anything important that ever happens, happens to 16 year olds. It's a stupid, stereotypical cliche..but I guess I shouldn't say that since, well, it's true in my case. This isn't exactly a pretty or a cute story. It's a little bit of everything.
Anyways, I guess before we embark on this journey that is junior year, I should probably tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Averly Void. I don't know who I am, I only know who I want to be. I like to think of myself as a zero. An undefined person. Someone who belongs to no one, but belongs to everyone. It doesn't need to make sense to you. I'll explain it once I've got it figured out. Along the way, I've somehow managed to make a couple amazing friends. I've got two best friends: Tawny Davis and May Grant. These girls are the best friends a girl could ask for.
If there's one thing that sticks out of Junior year, it's a bunch of numbers. 11, 3, 147, 134, 112, 15, 16 and 0.
It all began on 11/3. November 3rd. I started out at 147 lbs. I was 15. I was happy. I was sad. I was desperate. By November 3rd, I had already lost 13 lbs, from being active. But...not good enough. My goal weight was 112. This was the year I turned 16. All of these numbers stuck out to my like a sore thumb. And for some reason, zero always held a special place in my life. I felt like I was a zero. I was, but I wasn't. It just clicked in my head, somewhere.
It was 6:17am. I have History today, which is hell to sit through. I spend most of class writing down my thoughts, feelings, and ideas in my history notebook. Every page has a different story, different dreams....dreams...I realize I'm dreaming. Crap nuggets. I bolt out of bed, realizing I had overslept. My small body is lugged to the bathroom mirror, where I toss my hair, so it looks presentable...no, not presentable...manageable...no, just so it looked like I tried for the bedhead look. It usually works. I put on a quick layer of eyeliner and a few coats of mascara. I brush some bronzer on my cheeks and lug my body back to my room. I pull on some black jeans and a plain white t shirt and shove my arms into a studded leather jacket. I finish the look off with my white Converse. I brush my teeth quickly, grab my keys, and am out the door and into the car.
This is what my body does. My mind is a completely different story. It's much more awake. But much less alive.
"I didn't grab breakfast today," I mutter to myself as I pull away from my house in my black BMW X1.
It's not like you needed it.
I plug in my iPhone and turn on my playlist of my favorite three artists, Lana Del Rey, Hozier, and Marina and the Diamonds.
I wanna be a bottle blonde
I don't know why but I feel conned
I wanna be an idle teen
I wish I hadn't been so clean
I hum softly along while I drive the length to my High School. I really enjoy driving. It's never a chore to run errands, or pick people up. I love being alone in the car, just by myself. I'm in my own world. I'm zero. Nothing. But, everything.
That is, until May, my slightly obnoxious best friend taps on my window, as I'm waiting in line to enter the school parking lot.
0+1=1
I'm no longer just a zero. I've added May. She makes me more positive. Brings out the best in me. She makes me see life for beauty of it.
"I know, I know I messed up your music time, and I'm sorry but it's like -91° outside and I can't feel my butt."
That's May. Overexaggerater? You're telling me.
I smile to myself as I mutter, "Hey, May."
"So last night", May began, since she realized I wasn't going to kick her out of my car, "you'll never guess what happened. Ok. I'll tell you," she continued, even though I didn't ask her to. "David asked me if I wanted to go study with him!"
May has been obsessed with David since the 7th grade. And I mean obsessed. It's about time he noticed her, she is only one of the hottest girls in school. She's got long, straight auburn hair. Big brown eyes. She's tall, thin and super bubbly. What's not to like?
"That's great, M. Are you gonna go?" I ask.
"Is that a question?"
"Apparently not," I mutter as I chuckle at her sudden seriousness.
Just as we pull into a nice, big parking space, Tawny comes up and opens my door.
"You were supposed to bring me coffee."
Shoot.
The night before I had promised to bring her coffee. And I completely spaced. She's a nightmare without coffee. Truly.
"Tawn, I am so sorry. I'll do anything. Here's $5, go buy an energy drink from Garrett."
Fuming, she takes the money to go buy a Monster. I let out a sigh of relief. If you knew Tawn, you would too.
Tawny is a tall, fierce, bombshell. She's got a sorta soft grunge look about her. She has black and silver hair--dyed silver, mind you. She has tanned skin, bright blue eyes, she's tall, thin and has a great sense of style. She's iconic. She always wears a dark lip and dark clothes. She isn't goth. She's...grunge. That's it. She's also more than a little bit intimidating.
"Geez, I thought she was gonna stab you with her dagger eyes," muttered May.
We both exchange a wide-eyed glance before laughing hysterically.
These two keep me level. May's 1, and Tawny's -1. And I'm just zero. We're a trio. A living, breathing, learning, growing trio. And for us, junior year is an adventure, full of tears, laughter, love and pain.
I'm Averly Void. Nice to meet you.
