NIGHTMARE

20 | baseball champion

game day.

the team were gathered in the locker room, dressed in full kit and psyching themselves up to go against the infamous jeju greens.

"boys, focus," said coach kwon in an extra serious version of his serious voice, "today is the day that everything counts."

"let's smash 'em!" said jihoon aggressively.

"that boo seungkwan is gonna whoop our asses," wonwoo observed dryly.

"not this time!" soonyoung cut in. "he is a pathetic excuse for a team captain. i am gonna whoop his ass long before he can even see my ass."

"changkyun would like that," someone muttered under their breath.

changkyun's head shot up, but he couldn't figure out which mutter he'd heard.

"anyway, we need to play well so all the hot girls think we're amazing," junhui pointed out.

changkyun fought off a smile. or hot guys. he really hoped kihyun would keep his promise and come to watch the game.

"right, whatever, just play your best, okay?" coach kwon interrupted. "and don't lose your focus, especially you, changkyun."

changkyun saluted sharply. "i'm on the ball today, coach!"

the team gave a final cheer and jogged out onto the pitch, led by team captain soonyoung (who had only really been elected team captain because he was the coach's son).

"even jooheon came to watch!" soonyoung exclaimed, shaking changkyun by the shoulder.

"really? where is he?" changkyun squinted into the crowd in the bleachers, pretending to be looking for soonyoung's older college brother, when really he was searching for any sign of kihyun having turned up.

to changkyun's delight, kihyun was right there in his usual teacher get-up and a long coat to keep off the wind. sure, he was standing next to mr son, but the enemy didn't worry changkyun too much at this point. he caught kihyun's eye and waved when the teacher raised a hand and smiled.

"you're looking in the complete wrong place, dumbass," said soonyoung, grabbing changkyun's head and turning it in the other direction, "jooheon-hyung is over there, see?"

changkyun just laughed and joined soonyoung wildly waving at his brother in the bleachers.

the game was tense throughout, captain boo seungkwan of the jeju greens leading his team to play extremely well. time was running out and the scores were equal. that was when changkyun stepped up to bat.

eye on the ball. breathe. get ready. swing.

changkyun hit it hard, sending the ball flying into the distance, and then ran like his life depended on it. he really wanted to make kihyun proud of him. and before he knew it, he'd made it and his team were screaming his name and laughing because the referee was yelling, "time!"

the game was over, and they had won.

"lim changkyun! lim changkyun!" soonyoung and wonwoo chanted, lifting changkyun high on their shoulders.

"good game," said boo seungkwan in his green uniform, coming over to shake their hands.

soonyoung stuck his tongue out playfully at the other boy. "go back to your tiny island, boo," he teased, "hope you learn to play better!"

seungkwan rolled his eyes and shook wonwoo's hand instead. "good luck graduating, kwon," he countered with a sweet smile.

"very funny," soonyoung replied. "you do realise i'm almost passing one of my classes, right?"

seungkwan cracked up and met soonyoung with a fist bump. "not off to college like your brother then? i hope you're not repeating senior year. i kinda want to beat your school next year."

"jooheon only went to college for the hot girls," soonyoung scoffed.

"what are you saying about me?"

soonyoung gulped. "oh... hi, hyung," he said.

jooheon just laughed, his eyes turning into cute crescents. "dad's throwing a party for winning the game at our house later," he told them. "everyone's welcome to come."

"even our team?" seungkwan tried.

to his surprise, jooheon nodded. "sure! be there at around five."

changkyun hopped down from wonwoo and soonyoung's shoulders and walked off to get changed. for a split second, he imagined what it would be like to bring kihyun to parties and show him off. of course, it was ridiculous to even think for a moment that kihyun could go with him. it would be weird, bringing your teacher along.

changkyun sighed.

he wished things could be different.

changkyun slung his bag over his shoulder and headed out of the locker room into the corridor. he figured he would walk through the front gates and go straight over to the kwons' place for the party.

"changkyun!"

he turned to see mr son and mr yoo approaching. seeing kihyun made him relax, yet his heart raced at the same time.

"you played very well," mr son congratulated him with a grin, "that home run at the end... wow."

"thanks, sir," changkyun replied, his eyes still fixed on kihyun.

kihyun was almost bursting with pride. he wanted to wrap his arms around changkyun and hug him and kiss him and tell him a hundred times how amazing he was. of course, that wasn't exactly possible.

"you're really talented, changkyun," he told him instead, taking on a painfully professional tone.

"thank you," changkyun answered softly.

they passed each other in the corridor, both sighing the same sigh. kihyun glumly headed towards his car and started to make his way home.

"home sweet home," he mumbled bitterly as he shut the front door behind him.

the dingy apartment was starting to feel a little more like home. but coming home to an empty house left a hole in his heart, making him miss the days where hoseok would be curled up on the sofa watching tv and waiting for him.

when had things gotten so bad?

kihyun left his coat on the hook and sat on his side of the sofa. there was an empty space beside him. the tv screen was blank. kihyun closed his eyes and imagined a sober and well-dressed hoseok coming through the door and crashing on the sofa next to him, snuggling up under a blanket. those were the days, the golden days, before alcohol came into the picture.

the image in kihyun's mind suddenly blurred into a hesitant picture of changkyun, grinning lovingly. there were so many things keeping them apart, one of them being the spot in kihyun's heart that still yearned for a different end to his and hoseok's happily ever after.

knock-knock-knock!

kihyun's eyes shot open. it was dark outside, and it was late. he didn't remember falling asleep.

"who is it?" he mumbled, shuffling across the room to answer the door.

kihyun slotted the key into the lock and turned it, letting the door swing slowly open. his sleepy expression morphed into one of distress.

"what the fuck are you doing here?" he whimpered.

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