Peach Lips | Jikook

•Chapter Three•

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" ... I'm sorry. I just don't know who you are."

The very moment those words rolled out of my mouth, I witnessed the stranger's delighted features sink into one look of disappointment. Saying what I said was as hard as scraping gum off a desk. Saying that to someone who just jumped on you and kissed you so passionately, was very hard. Then his lips curled into a smirk, eyebrows curving down as well, and his eyes twinkles adorably. " Oh, I don't know if you have forgotten, Jungkook. But I'm not dumb. You can stop your little joke right now because I haven't changed that much and I've.." He pauses for a moment, his expression softening. As if he longed for someone."I've really missed you. Right now I just want your love and affection, I just hope we haven't gotten so distant," he explains, looking down at his lap when he has finished. When we kissed, I kinda just dragged him into my dorm room hoping that no one saw what just happened. I offered him to sit down and I gave him a drink that I kept spilling on the floor because of how clumsy I'd gotten since the kiss. It was a strange moment and it almost felt like Deja vu.

I was very close to telling the stranger about my condition on memory loss. Maybe I knew this person before and obviously we were an item. Questions and theories build up in my mind. How come my parents never mentioned him? Could it be that I dated him secretly? But why would I do that? Did I have someone on the side!? Whatever the answers are, I think this stranger knows. And I have to tell him.

First I gulp and then I just stare at him. "I um...I'm really sorry. I was honest that I don't remember you." I said again and he really frowned once more. Nonetheless, before he came to the conclusion that I was faking, I stepped in first and begin explaining my situation. " A year ago, I was in a car accident and I've lost most of my memories." I said. The stranger always seems to have a constant reaction to anything I would say. He was paying good attention to me and I appreciate that from him. His mouth slowly dilated from the shock and within a few seconds his eyes began getting teary. " I'm sorry to hear that Jungkook. That must have been so... painful. My parents didn't even tell me anything!" When one of his tear left his eye my body forced itself to jump from the chair that I sat in front of him, and I sit besides him on the couch. Using my thumb I rubthe wet drop away. I saw how his smooth creamy features turned red on his cheeks. His teary eyes appeared to be even more wishful as he stared into my own. "You...You used to do that a lot." he comments with a smile. "There are so many things that I love about you and this is one of them. I remember coming over and crying to you about how my parents wanted to force me and ship me off to France. I didn't want to, but they made it obligatory and didn't give me much of an option." He pauses. His eyes wonder off to the distance as he attempts to remember. "You went up to me much like this. Sat next to me just like this, on the two bean bags that were in your room. You rubbed my tears away and you said ' Come live with us instead.' "
When he finished he smiles brightly, almost in a laugh. His smile was so beautiful, innocent, and sweet, angel-like. His eyes shrink into a crescent, and although it was a beautiful scenery, it didn't last for a long time. Not when his lips trembled, not when more tears dropped down. I wrap my arms around the stranger's shoulder and allowed him to rest his head against my chest. Even though I didn't know what to say to him, I can't help feeling of crying along with him.I was slowly going to break into tears because the pain of not remembering is back. I used to have a boyfriend, who I hope was as nice as he seems to be. I hope we have made great memories together, I hope we have loved each other very much. And as much as I wished I could make him stop crying, I just don't think that I should give him the illusion that things would go back to the way they were. I am not the same Jungkook as I was back then towards my parents. Family and friends of my past consider their Jungkook dead. Now I am a new me, and I want to start new with things. I have new friends, a different place to stay and...I want to have a new lover for my future. I can't give myself nor him a silhouette about having a happily ever after.

While I was distracted in my own thoughts, the boy had moved from my chest and planted another kiss against my lips. It is softer this time, as soft as a baby's skin. His small hands held my cheeks and he deepened the kiss. When my lips responded back, I had to hold him by the shoulder and pull him away. "We can't do this.." I whisper lowly since I couldn't bring myself to hurt anyone. I refuse to look at his hurt features, but when he gave me a broken " Why?" I forced myself to gaze into his still teary eyes. " I just don't think... we can." I sigh, not able to finish my sentence. Then I try again. "When I lost my memories... I lost my feelings too. I can't love you like this... I'm really sorry. I'm also not the same Jungkook that you remember... It's best that you forget about us and I guess you should move on." When I finished I abruptly stood up from where I sat and walk away to the kitchen where I don't have to be next to him. The words that I wanted to speak were not as smooth as I wanted them to be. "We should be friends," I add, looking back at him, who had not moved from the spot. His tears stains his cheeks and his hands were slightly raised in the air, from when he held my cheeks.

"So you just want to end a three year relationship like this?!" he snaps back from the position he had.

"I can't remember those three years. And that hurts me more than anything. It's a blur, it's confusing. I don't know you. I don't know what you once were to me, and you think it's possible to go on with this huge gap?! Fuck, I can't even feel the same love to my parents because I forgot how they were to me." I told him off, rubbing at my eyes for I felt like I might cry any moment. " They refilled my memories which all felt empty, and no one I knew ever told me about you."

The boy looked sadder than me. He was hurt by everything I said, about no one telling me who he was, about me not loving him the same. Even not at all. There was a long silence. So long that we even had moved from our previous spots. I went to the small kitchen to get cold water, while he sits differently with his thighs closed tight together. His elbow rested on his thigh and supported his head while he was in what I assume is deep thoughts. He then broke the silence moments later with a raspy voice. "Fine. Let's stay friends." I admit, I felt hurt when he agreed despite me being the one that forced it onto him. I felt hurt for myself, and I felt hurt for him and the pain I caused. But I still felt some relief as a weight was lifted from my shoulders. "Thanks... " I softly said.

He finally stood up from my couch before walking over to me. I can see the forced smile he wears himself while playing with his fingers. And even though he brushes away the tears, I can still see the red marks that just gave me an urge to punch a wall. I don't understand why. But I hated to see him cry.

"Can I stay over? Until tomorrow. Maybe we could watch a movie if you're not busy..." he says softly. I was busy tonight, I had more homework to finish. But I just couldn't look at him and tell him that. "Sure. What's your name anyway?" I ask since I couldn't remember it from the letter. I appearto be alright, but I was very careless when I asked him that. The boy stared at me with hurt eyes. Damn I was really insensitive. He didn't let that bother him though. He made himself rebound, with another of his angelic smile. "I am Park Jimin. Nineteen years old and a college student like you. Nice to meet you." He says extending his arm for a handshake. I happily shook it.

"Jeon Jungkook. I am eighteen."

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Chapter edited by Laety_KC