Broken beyond repair

desperate and lonely

Sorry if this is really bad, i felt like *trying* to write, so i wrote :)

"No"

That word, that one word that she had screamed and cried repeatedly to anyone who could hear her. NO she had howled as she was dragged kicking and screaming from her cottage. Watching as it slowly burned to the ground with her father and sisters still inside, oblivious to the hell that pursued them. NO she had sobbed as she was forced to acknowledge the crumbling foundation that she had once called home. no she had whispered, as she was pulled unwillingly across the once green grass, that was now enveloped by the black of fresh ember.

''NO!'' she yelled at Tamlin when he locked her in the manor. Trapped inside with no way out, no one to help her, like a caged dog awaiting its owners return. Maybe they right. Maybe she was nothing, just dirt on the bottom of peoples shoes. Maybe Rhysand had done more harm then good turning her into this pitiful being. And maybe... maybe her family would have lived, if feyre had never existed, because it didn't matter right? No body cares if she lives or dies, nobody would miss her if she had of died under the mountain. she had no one.

"no"

That word had never helped her, no one had ever listened and no one ever will. That's what the woman with the red hair said, Amarantha was her name.

Feyre had dreaded the thought of going to the night court. A place that was supposedly so much like the place that haunted her dreams and her waking hours, stirring her from what small amount of sleep that her body had finally allowed and inflicting flashbacks so vivid and horrifying that she was no longer able to eat- lest she throw up, she was a husk in this foreign body. A body that was no longer her own. the body that reminded her so much of that nightmare that she could no longer stand to look at herself in the mirror. who is she?

She was no longer the girl who had killed that wolf out of spitefulness, she was broken. and she had no idea how to fix herself. she could put on a fake smile and pretend everything was okay, that she was fine and that she still loved Tamlin. but she was not fine.