WHEE LET'S DO THIS THING!

LE STORY OF FIRST

Once upon a time there was a lovely Princess called Masamune-

Wait what??? 

Fine then, Prince. Once upon a time there was a lovely Prince called Masamune. He had hair as black as...uh...black stuff-

It's brown. My hair is brown. 

Whatever!!

Anyways, Prince Masamune had hair as brown as whatever stuff is brown and looks nice-TABLES! Tables are brown. Most of the time. And he had skin as white as Mitsuhide's hair and lips as red as Yukimura's clothes-

I DON'T WEAR LIPSTICK

You do now. He also had an evil stepmother queen called Queen Mitsunari-

DID YOU JUST MAKE ME A GIRL 

Yeeup, I did. 

I WILL KILL YOU 

FIne, Prince Masamune had an evil stepFATHER KING called KING Mitsunari.

Guess what story this is ripping off!

King Mitsunari was a very vain man, and he had le magic mirror of magicality. He looked at it every morning, and said,

"Magic mirror of magicality, aren't I the most bishie of them all?"

The mirror always replied, "Yes, Mitsunari-sama!"

But when Prince Masamune reached the age of seven, he became so bishie that when the King asked the mirror the question one morning, it said,

"Mitsunari-sama, I think Masamune is bishier than you-UH NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT BISHIE OR ANYTHING PLEASE DON'T KILL ME"

King Mitsunari was very upset about this, and grew more and more upset each day. He started to hate hate hate Prince Masamune.

So, one day, he sent a hunter called Ieyasu to kill Prince Masamune in a random forest, and told him to return with Masamune's internal organs (whatever they may be) as proof he is dead.

So, Ieyasu went tra-la-la-la-la into the forest with Prince Masamune, but found he was unable to kill the Prince due to Masamune's extreme bishieness and the fact that many fangirls would be out for his blood if he killed Masamune. 

Ieyasu let Prince Masamune run away into the random forest of randomness, and went to kill an unfortunate little pig whose internal organs were shown to the King as Masamune's by Ieyasu, and then eaten by King Mitsunari.

WHAT THAT'S DISGUSTING I WOULDN'T DO THAT

AND I WOULD JUST KILL THAT STUPID PERSON MYSELF INSTEAD OF IEYASU 

Little/big/average Prince Masamune wandered through the random forest of randomness until he found a little cottage which seemed to be empty. So he crashed in one of the seven beds inside.

Later, seven little dwarfs came in to find Masamune sleeping in one of their beds.

So who are the dwarfs?

I bet she can't be bothered to give names to all of them.

Call them Kojuurou! 

Ok, seven chibi Kojuurous came in to find Masamune sleeping in one of their beds. They started exclaiming, "OMG THERE'S A GIANT BISHIE IN OUR HOUSE WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO"

Masamune was woken up by the Kojuurous shouting. He then told them what happened to him, and why he woke up in a bed about nine trillion times too small for him.

The Kojuurous took pity on the Prince, and let him stay at their house.

Meanwhile, King Mitsunari was asking his magical mirror of magicality the ultimate question,

"I'M AM LE MOST BISHIE, RIGHT?"

The mirror replied, "Uhhhhhhh Masamune's still alive you know that?"

"OH MY HIDEYOSHI HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE-wait."

"IIIIIEEEYYYAAAAASUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ieyasu came in, guessing Mitsunari was summoning him, not just shouting his name because he did that all the time.

"Yes, Mitsunari?"

"DID YOU LET THE PRINCE GO???"

"UHHHHHHH.......maybe"

"YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!"

"Dammit."

After firing Ieyasu, King Mitsunari racked his evil brain for ways of killing Masamune.

I'm not evil 

Sure you aren't. Anyways, King Mitsunari came up with an idea! He put a mustache on, changed his hair, and went to the house of Kojuurous. All the Kojuurous were out, so Masamune was the only one there. Mitsunari knocked on the door.

"Hello, who's there?"

"DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAAAAAAAN?"

"Uh, no thanks."

"COME ON, LET'S GO AND PLAY!"

"I don't even know you-"

"I NEVER SEE YOU ANYMORE"

"When did you see me before?"

"SO COME OUT THE DOOR"

"You're getting creepy."

"IT'S LIKE YOU'VE GONE AWAAAAAAAY!"

"Just tell me what you want."

"Bonjour, you would like ze apples, non?"

Mitsunari held out a bag full of apples. (SPOILERS: THEY'RE POISONED)

Masamune opened the door.

"How much are they?" 

"Zey are just free, ja? You like?"

Masamune shrugged. "Eh, I don't see why I should turn down free food." He took the bag. "Thanks."

"You vould like ze tasting now, ja?"

"GOD YOU'RE ANNOYING-okay, fine then."

Masamune took an apple out of le bag of bagginess, and took le bite of DEATH (FANG*) As soon as he swallowed, he fell to le ground of hardness. 

"YAAAAY HE'S DEAD"

BUT THEN!

Masamune jumped up off le ground of hardness, and suddenly he had le Six Swords of Dokuganryuu-ity!

"WAIT WHAT HOW'D HE GET THOSE? DAMMIT, AUTHOR!!"

Masamune pointed le swords at Mitsunari's face, and said,

"This dragon doesn't give up easily, you see?"

Then Mitsunari got out his own Sword of Iaido-ity, and he and Masamune had a battle!

CUE EPIC MUSIC!!

In the end, Masamune won the battle, and everything was lovely and peaceful!

THE END

Wait, what? That was nonsense! I like that I won, but still! 

What the hell was my accent supposed to be?! 

SHUT UP GUYS AND JUST ENJOY THE STORY! I'M THE AUTHOR, I DO WHATEVER I WANT!

THE END END

[YES I KNOW I MISSED OUT A HELL OF A LOT OF THE ORIGINAL STORY. I DON'T EXACTLY CARE TOO MUCH.]

*No Tezzzzzzzzzz, not Maximum Ride Fang.