WHEE LET'S DO THIS THING!

LE DEUXIEME STORIEH

Once upon a time of a time, there was a lovely little gir-BOY called Motochika. He used to have a mother, but she died and he got a stepmother/father of stepmotherfatheriness called Hanbee.

Stepmother/father?

Yeeup. Anyways, this step-person had two stepsons called Motonari and Yoshitsugu.

You made us brothers? You deserve to die.

Okay okay okay, do it later, I'm still writing. So, when Motochika was younger, the family got on reasonably well, with no arguments or anything bad.

But wasn't there that time where Mouri kept burning all of us in that summer-

SHUT UP. Then, when Motochika turned old enough to help with the washing-up, things started to go wrong. Because nobody had told Motochika how to wash clothes, he went to the nearest ocean and dumped the clothes into it, resulting in the clothes getting washed/washed away by the vast expanse of water. So then the family had to buy all their clothes again.

You make it sound like I'm an idiot!! 

You are.

Anyways, Motochika then became utterly downgraded to scruffy-unpaid-cleaner-with-a-bed-made-out-of-asthma-inducing-ashes. He had to work all of le hours of le days of le weeks of le months of le years of le decades of le centuries of le milleniums of le....I don't know what comes after that. Putting it simply, he just worked all the time.

Then one day in Motochika's ashy life, a prince by the name of Ieyasu sent out an invitation for a ball to everybody in the land! .....except Motochika, because according to Motonari and Yoshitsugu, scruffy-unpaid-cleaners were not allowed into ballrooms. 

So Motochika had to sit at home while Yoshitsugu and Motonari went to the ball.

That is, until a POOF of smoke came from out of nowhere (setting the house on fire) and out of it came the FAIRY-DEMON-GOD-KING-FATHER-HEAVEN-SIXTH-HENRYVIII-THING called Nobunaga!

"I DON'T CARE WHO THE HELL YOU ARE JUST GET OVER TO THAT BALL. HERE'S SOME FANCY CLOTHES AND A LAMBOURGHINI, NOW SCRAM." the Nobunaga said/shouted to a bemused Motochika.

Then, the Nobunaga kicked Motochika into the car after he had put on the fancy clothes.

"OH AND TELL TAKECHIYO HE'S FIRED." the Nobunaga shouted as Motochika drove away.

Motochika arrived at the ball just on time, and went in to le ballroom of ballroominess, where he bumped into a certain Prince Ieyasu.

"Hello!" said the cheerful-as-ever prince.

"Hello!" said the cheerful-for-the-first-time-in-forever Motochika.

Ieyasu opened his mouth to start a sentence; "Let's d-"

But Masamune got there first.

"LET'S DANCING!!!!!"

And the ball turned into a rave party.

During the newly-formed rave party, Ieyasu asked Motochika a question of questionability.

"You're a dude, right?"

Motochika was utterly offended by this question, as people could tell from his response.

"WHAT THE HELL I AM A DUDE JUST BECAUSE I USED TO BE CALLED LITTLE PRINCESS/HIMEWAKO DOESN'T MEAN I AM ONE-SHUT UP MOURI YOU'RE WAY BISHIER THAN ME"

(This last was directed at Motonari who had just exploded with laughter.)

"Oh, okay, sorry. It's just that according to this script I was supposed to invite all the WOMEN in the land to the ball. So I was wondering why men were here." Ieyasu said, pulling out a very long piece of papier from the depths of his hood.

"Hey, that's unfair! I want a script! How come I don't get one?" Motochika whined, "If I had a script I would have known what to say when that weird twisted version of a fairy godmother came along!"

"OI, WHO ARE YOU CALLING WEIRD AND TWISTED. AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LET ME BOSS YOU AROUND. WE REHEARSED THIS, REMEMBER?"

"Oh yeeeaaahhhh."

GUYS GUYS GUYS WHAT THE HELL DON'T TALK ABOUT THE SCRIPT

Then you should not have given us scripts if you did not want us to mention them.

We didn't get scripts last time, did we, Dokuganryuu?

Nope, just had to do what the author wrote down.

OI GUYS I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW AND ANYWAYS HOW THE HELL DID YOU TAKE THIS OVER

Because if you had continued, I would have married Motochika. 

YEAH WELL BUT WELL BUT BUT BUT YEAH BUT WELL

Your lack of vocabulary dries what little interest I had in you. 

SHUT UP MOTONARI

THE END.

But- 

THE. END!!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT CONTINUING THIS IF YOU GUYS KEEP TAKING IT OVER!!!

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE RANDOM FAIRYTALE RIPOFF STORIES!!!!!!! 

NEXT TIME: A RANDOM OTHER FAIRYTALE RIPOFF

DAMMIT