Half Full

Chapter 18

I didn't return to my usual seat the next day. I sat in the first row and was praying to God that he wouldn't notice me. We parted ways in an unconventional manner. When we finally stopped abusing each other's mouths, I said I had to go and I took off running. He didn't follow. He just stood there under the tree, watching me go.

"I think this seat is the best in the whole auditorium after all." He leans down to me and places a kiss on my head. What is going on? Can he not get a hint? Yes, I let things go a little too far yesterday and I shouldn't have, but he is a hard person to resist.

"Ryder, I...-"

"Payton, I don't want to hear that yesterday's kiss was another failure because we both know it wasn't; if you think I'm just playing with you then you are wrong. Are we clear about that?" He doesn't even look at me while he says that, he is taking out his books and notepad and placing them on his desk.

"Ok," I say after few minutes, and maybe that is ok . Perhaps I'm too paranoid and way too guarded because I had one hell of a fuck up with a boy I fell in love with or so I thought. Maybe now it's hard for me to move forward even though this gorgeous, sweet, and caring man is telling me that he is not going anywhere.

We don't talk for the rest of the class, his hand touch mine from time to time while he pretends to turn the pages of my notebook, our legs bump into each other under the table causing my breath to accelerate.

After Biology we head over to the cafeteria and we eat lunch sitting together like we are, something together. It's all a little confusing but I just go with the flow of what feels right. And this definitely feels right.

"Will I see you later? Running today?" He lowers his head and places a kiss on my cheek.

"I need to study today, I will most likely spend my evening in the library." I hold my books tighter to my chest, my cheeks flushing for sure.

"I might-"

"Lookie, lookie what we have here. My girlfriend being harassed by the famous playboy." The most dreaded voice I could ever hear is right next to us and I can sense Ryder's body go rigid. "I'm not sure what are you doing Ryder, but she's with me." Jimmy is coming next to me, his arm wrapping around my waist and I'm standing there paralyzed, my head shaking no, my eyes petrified, my body shaking at his touch.

"Is that so?" Ryder's eyes are on me and he must see how petrified I am because he swipes Jimmy's body off me with one swift motion knocking him onto the grass behind the pillar we were standing next to.

What happens next is a blur to me. I see Jimmy standing up and charging towards Ryder. Two bodies tangled with each other, blood splashed everywhere and name-calling is all I can see and hear. I don't even try to break up that fight because I want Jimmy to get what I was never able to give to him. A good beating up, but I'm not sure he is the one that is underneath. There are a few more guys breaking up the fight and the next thing I know Ryder is next to me, his hand on my lower back, guiding me towards his car.

"Are you ok?" there is so much blood on his face that I think I might faint.

"I'm ok, let's go." He opens the door for me and I slide in. I watch him walk in front of the car and get behind the wheel a second later.

"I'm so sorry...I ...he-"

"Let me calm down Pay, then we talk."

Then we talk. That means I will have to spill out the truth, the truth I was trying to escape. Can I do it?

We drive for more than thirty minutes and stop in front of a small lake. Ryan gets out of the car and comes around to open my door for me. I get out and gasp at the beautiful sky where the sun is just setting. Pinks, oranges and reds just above the water, looking like someone painted this especially for us.

We walk to the water and sit on the wooden deck without saying a word.

"So what's the story?" He asks looking at the sky. And the moment is ruined, but I knew it would come sooner or later.

"We dated some time ago."

"He's new here."

"So am I."

I see him nod his head and his cheek dips in his mouth.

"You want me to keep asking questions or will you just tell me the whole story?"

And just like that, I go back to that night and tell him everything that happened. I don't watch him while the words escape my mouth but I feel him tensing next to me and his hands clench into fists at my waist. Yes, I spilled my soul to him, and I told him more than I ever told myself but he deserves to know.

When I'm done he brings me closer to him, places a kiss on my head and says nothing. And we sit like that for God knows how long, looking at the sunset.

When I finally turn my head to him I see a big cut under his right eye and a swollen lip. I bring my hand to his face and trace the bruises. "I'm sorry." I come to my knees and kiss his eyes and then his lip gently.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, it was my pleasure, I'm sure he is bruised more than I am." He grabs my waist and brings me over his lap. We kiss for the longest time. Our hands exploring the places on our bodies that were forbidden before. Our breaths hot, our hearts racing, pounding in our chests.

Maybe Laura was right, maybe you have to take out a new canvas once in a while and paint a new story instead of putting paint over the old picture, trying to hide the bad memories.