-My Dark Poetry-

To Delete

To skip a meal, 

What's the big deal? 

To puke it out, 

You can live without. 

To starve to death, 

So out of breath. 

To not eat, 

Press delete. 

The popular girl is skinny, 

So you have to be too. 

The popular clothes are small. 

So what do you do? 

You skip a meal cause it's only one. 

Only a little won't hurt. 

You think you're not sick. 

Anorexia is just a word. 

You're a bit bigger than most girls at your school, 

And although nobody is calling you fat, you can hear them. 

They whisper and look your way, so they must be talking about you. 

At home you're thinking about their stare ,and you cry until 4 a.m. 

You have no beautiful thigh gap, as the popular kids are calling it. 

So you start by skipping dinner cause it'll go to your hips. 

And because you're not losing enough weight fast enough, 

You search the internet for fast diets and you find those terrible tips. 

To put your finger and touch the back of your throat, 

It's harder than you thought it would be, but you try longer. 

And when it comes up, it burns your nose and eyes, but it's okay. 

Cause you think doing this will somehow make your stronger. 

You go to sleep with a throat that hurts but on your face is a smile. 

Even though you feel like you just ran 20 miles without drinking. 

But you continue skipping more meals cause it seems effective. 

And after 4 weeks, some of your jeans seem to be shrinking. 

Your parents don't notice because they see you eat your dinner 

And you take lunch with you everyday when you leave for school. 

Nobody thinks anything of it when you throw your lunch in the trash. 

People don't notice the change in you, but who do you really fool? 

Do you really think that you can live like that without consequences? 

So you're shocked as your weakened body starts breaking down. 

when you comb your hair, too many hairs starts falling out. 

And you get dizzy when you stand up too fast or if you turn around. 

But you're losing many pounds in a really short time, 

It's a really motivation to keep going, just a little bit more. 

You have fat enough so you think not eating much won't hurt 

But as the weeks keep going up, you have to hold onto the door. 

Your pants are too large and so it the belt holding them up. 

You're drowning in your clothes just like you're drowning in despair. 

You don't feel good but you think if you stop now, you'll get fat again. 

Why can't you be just like the skinny girls, it's not fair. 

So you keep going, not eating, puking everything back out. 

Running, swimming, jumping, anything to get you sweating. 

You fall down, you see black spots, but still you keep going. 

Which lie have you told people you know, you keep forgetting. 

Putting band-aids over the wounds on you thin knuckles 

You can't sleep, you can't stay awake, you're breaking. 

Everything you do asks so much energy of you, it's too much. 

But you are the best in smiling the smile you're faking. 

To skip a meal, 

What's the big deal? 

To puke it out, 

You can live without. 

To starve to death, 

So out of breath. 

To not eat, 

Press delete.