My Dear Enemy... [Cielois Oneshot]

My lovely enemy...

Dear Alois Trancy,
It's funny, isn't it? I bet you didn't thought that the strong and emotionless Earl Ciel Phantomhive will write you a stupid letter right after your death.
I should be happy by now, you were my annoying enemy, but honestly, this guilt won't leave me alone, why? Because I'm sorry Alois, you've been through so much, your life was worst than mine, and I realized it just now, but it's too late...
I should have listened when with desperate and teary eyes, you told me that we're basically the same, but I was so stupid to ignore you, your cries of help, the fear in your eyes knowing that death was taking you this time, your screams filled with true pain... I was such a bloody idiot to ignore them, thinking only to myself.
I know that this won't make you come back, but believe me, how I wish it could
I'll give anything I have just to see your warm smile, your beautiful blue, sparkly eyes and your golden hair.
You were like an angel, my dear Alois, an angel who suffered so much, but kept smiling,no matter how heavy the world was.
I miss you so much,and I'm sorry for everything I have done to you...
I hope you're finally happy up there, did you meet your little brother again? I think you did, and I'm so glad for that, you won't need to be in this cruel world anymore and you won't need to face any pain from now on.
My life feels so empty without you, I have Elizabeth, and my loyal servants, but it's not the same...
What I felt for you was truly different, you were the light in my dark world, but I guess even the light doesn't shine forever, huh?
I know that you won't forgive me, and I don't blame you, I don't deserve your sympathy after I stabbed you with no regret... 
But what I mean to say is that I feel guilty for the pain I caused you,
you needed someone by your side who loved you for real, and who gave you all the attention that you needed, the exact opposite of your butler.
Words can't describe how much I hate him, that stupid spider who killed a fragile butterfly like you, he lied and used you, but you knew that...you knew that he was only a hungry demon who waited for your soul, you damn knew it...
And yet, I didn't do anything
You were bleeding and crying on the cold floor, but no one helped you, not even me...
If only I could turn back time...so I could save you,tell you that everything will be fine, and you won't need to be lied to again...but sadly, this can't happen, it's too late now...
Please forgive me for everything.
I hope I'll see you soon, my love
Stay strong and wait for me, alright?
I loved you, my lovely enemy...

                              With affection,
                                     Ciel Phantomhive