Undercover Love

Is he okay ??

I didn't sleep . All night .

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened .

That morning I got a text that says "I'm very sorry for your loss , he will be missed ."

Then I get another one almost exactly the same . Then another . And another .

I ran down stairs and began to cry into my moms arms . I had never cried so much .

I skipped school . Monday went by as I watched sad romantic movies like "ps I love you" and "the notebook" and thousands more . Just a day full of tears .

I skipped school Tuesday .. And Wednesday .. I couldn't go and see all of his friends . All my friends . I didn't want to see anyone actually .

The first day I went back to school I didn't talk to anyone . I just thought about things . How bad I regretted everything I had ever said to him . But I also remembered all the good times . Like how he gave me a teddy bear every year . I wondered for a second .. Why a teddy bear ? ..

After school I drove to the hospital .. He was still there . I got an invitation . To his - his .. Funeral .

I began to feel tears pile into my eyes . As one rolled down my cheek I quickly took a deep breath and said softly ,"I'll be there" . Just as he said . The day before he died .

As I went home I cuddled with the teddy bear .

I looked at it , I just looked at it . My mom then comes in . "Hi sweetie . Meagan is here and she would like to see you ."

"Okay , let her in"

Meagan walks in with her head down ..

"Hey" she says .. Quietly .

"Umm hey" I respond ..

We have this long pointless talk about "he's in a better place"

"I just wish I knew why he always left this stupid teddy bear for me ! It's every year !" I say as I began to shake the bear . The back of the bears sewing begins to come undone and I unrip the sewing . A note falls out that reads ..