Shut Up

My Conscience Controls Me

"Wanna come watch my show?"

"I'll watch you in about twenty minutes, okay?"

"Fine, but I'm counting," and with that, she ran off.

Why can't you just be nice and do it now you bitch?

My conscience so respectfully questions.

I am nice, I just don't feel like it.

Lazy ass.

And here I am, sitting in the back of a crowded truck, staring at my feet waiting for my mom to come home. Just like last night, and the night before.

My name's Rachel. Thirteen years old, favorite color is blue, blah blah blah.

This is my story.

"TIMES UP!" screams my little sister. I never feel like watching her little gymnastics shows, but I do it anyway, to keep her Happy and occupied. As I sit and watch her little tricks and cartwheels I imagine her growing up and becoming a real gymnast. She's so skinny, but for an eleven year old, she's pretty tall. She's about 5"0 and has sun-touched hair.

Then there's my older sister. She's 5"4 with dark, shoulder length hair. And she's about 15.

Then theres me, the middle child. I'm such an outcast. But I'm already used to it, sadly.

"Did you like it?!"

"I did, it was wonderful. But I'm going to finish my book now." I say and I start to walk away.

"Whatcha reading?" She questions excitedly as she follows me.

"Just a book on WattPad. Nothing you'd Like," and with that she runs off to leave me with my thoughts. My wicked and evil thoughts.

'You are finished with this book!'

Dammit.

I hate finishing a book I like, it ruins the moments I can actually smile like a dork at other relationships without having the cruel world bother me. But I guess It's good for me. New books new adventures, right?

The wind was blowing in my tied up hair, I'd just realized I hadnt taken a shower after walking in the rain today. I love the rain, it makes me feel free. Happiness, something I don't experience much. My lifes too crowded with chores and sleep and insults.

I shut the back of the Ram truck and enjoy the sunset while my music matches the scene perfectly. Nothing like a sunset in Sierra Vista, Arizona though. The sunsets there are just indescribable..

"Has no one told you she's not breathing." I start to sing. I love Evanescence. Amy Lee is so perfect. I wish I had her voice. Her words have meaning.

"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken."

"Shutup Rachel! No one wants to hear it." Screams Alive over her music.

"Listen to this note she hits, It's badass!" I exclaim.

"Don't say that," she said in a rude tone. And after the dirty look she gave me, she sighed. But once I showed her, her face lit up.

"Damn," she gasps.

Hypocrite.

I went back to the truck to find a new book. I wish my mom was home, even when she comes home, all she does is shower and sleep but I don't blame her, she has a rough job. I just like knowing shes here. That's the reason I'm even in Reno. Normally I live back in Arizona, but my mom moved down here with her boyfriend because she wanted a new start plus her boyfriends in the army. Monsoon season is happening now in AZ, but I can't watch it right now. I'm going back home in about a week. I'll miss my mom.

You're an idiot.

I didn't even do anything wrong.

Everything you do is wrong.

Oh..