I toss and turn, begging my eyes to close as they burn. But at the same it's your presence they yearn. That's why they decide to suffer and stay open. Hoping that you can see the words that were never spoken. But that's all they do, just hope. It's funny how easily a Stellenbosch student can hide their found alcohol addiction behind "Gees" although I know it's a mechanism for me to cope. As the nights are long and sleep is short without you here. But it can be considered fair, I never treated you right when you were there. Kept the pain hidden and Now I'm in the dark sitting my mind giving me images of you with another guy it's been creeping. I try to rub them away, but they are stuck and have become real. Another strong drink. Trading my liver, so that the gap in the heart can heal. Before I fall back and think of you like I'm Obito and you're my Rin. That's when you walk in. you lay next to me and give me your glare. I push away the hair in front of your face and appreciate the fact that we're breathing the same air. I swear time stopped as I Stare into your eyes. You tell me we're okay and lay on my chest and all the pain dies. And as you're asleep. My mind drifts and doesn't know what it is, but we have something. Next second I JUMP UP! as I hear the ring. I realise it's 7 am and it was all a dream .... I laugh a bit. Found a joke in my sorrow ..... You're still gone , it will be 3 years Tomorrow