I thought this could never happen to me. Moving, falling in love, and now of course big mistakes. Nothing to do, no dignity left. I was smart I'm still smart but doesn't everyone make mistakes when they fall in love. Some might not be as bad mine but couldn't mine still be viewed as luck. Some might find me as lucky. At least that's what I thought until it was all left to me. To raise a child all by myself. Guess I'm not so lucky.
Hi I'm Izzy. I'm nine-teen. Yea I know I am old enough to know not to make this mistake but it just happened so quickly. So unpredictable. I was in love with him, we were happy.James. My high school boyfriend always known as the bad mysterious one. Smoked, drank, partied like there was no tomorrow.Sounds like the type of guy you would want to stay away from but not for me. For me it was not love it was lust, well at least I see as that now, to know that I was wanted by a tattooed bastard. Makes me still want him crazily. To feel his strong arms wrapped around me once more. To look at him in that gray tee shirt that he always wore. I'm longing for him in a way that I never knew existed. The ache in my chest is more then unbearable.You never think that some one could do such a thing, never think of them as a bad person until they brake your walls and leave with nothing but bits and pieces of what you thought was something. Something special.
Abortion, keeping, adopting, abortion, keeping, adopting. These thoughts swarmed in my brain. Of course I couldn't do abortion, I was always against that and I don't want to be those type of moms who give up there child and end up going to court to get them back. So what else was there for me to do but keep the kid. And that's exactly what I did.
You see I'm just in lying in the hospital bed writing this down. Everyone has a story, everyone wants to live forever, and that's what I'm doing by being remembered, by telling you how I ended up with his child.
