Dear Reader,
Now that I've explained my discovery I feel like I should cover why I'm not out. As I already said, I have two friends that are also not heterosexual.
Reason number one: I have a huge family. Literally, on one side of my family I have like 13 cousins. There is bound to be at least one person that will treat me poorly once I do come out. I know the stereotypical solution is just that I don't need them in my life if they discriminate against me like that, but saying goodbye would be hard as hell because they're still family.
Reason number two: who do you come out to first? Anna and Mia deserve to know. They're the best friends anyone could ever imagine having, and I know they'd be there for me, but the idea of telling them is still heckin' scary. I'm about 80% sure my mom would support me, and 60% sure my dad would be fine. My cousin Kim went to pride with her best friend, so I know I can be myself around her and her sister (Jay), but the idea of their mom telling my mom (her twin sister) scares me too.
Reason number three: Here comes the big one: I just don't want anything to change. I love my parents, I love my cousins, and I love my siblings. I don't want anyone to look at me differently because I might just find someone that isn't male attractive. My sister just had a baby, what if her boyfriend and his family won't want me near the baby?
Reason number four: I have so many other things to worry about that sometimes my sexuality doesn't even make the top 10. It sucks, but it's true. I'm going to be a senior this year, I still don't know how to drive, and I'm in so many clubs that I'm starting to wonder if I was drunk when I signed up last year.
Reason number five: coming out is such a stupid idea anyway, I hate the idea that because I'm not straight I have to tell people.
Much love,
Eva (:
YOU ARE READING
Pride 2018
Non-FictionThese chapters are written in honor of Pride month 2018. I'll be writing them in the forms of letters, almost like a diary entry. Hopefully it won't be super boring. At the start of this book I was a closeted, Pansexual, 17 year old girl. Hopefully...
