Diary of a Park Jimin Stan

mornings with him

his touch is what i sense first. the soft pads of his fingers on my lower back, his unevenly cut nails lightly grazing at my skin. his other hand loosely holds mine, or perhaps it was the other way around. i don't really know. my hand feels sticky. his head is curled forward and rests at the cave under my chin. his cheek, a bit damp, is pressed against my collarbone. it feels itchy. he needs to shave soon.  i can feel is warm breath fanning on my neck. it's kind of annoying. his steadied hums are comforting to me.
it takes an effort to open my eyes. they feel heavy, like they're still carrying the weight of my dreams. after a few tries, i give him and indulge into the peaceful dullness. that's when his grasp on my hand goes away and he shifts backwards. a low sound in between a groan and a whine goes past his lips, soon after which he leans in again, this time much closer and no longer curled. his hand never came back to hold mine, but snaked under to cradle me into his body.

from this proximity, i catch the scent of detergent and his lingering faint woody deodorant that hasn't quite worn off. i snuggle closer and wrap an arm around his waist too, rubbing my thumb to create shapes. i am careful not to breathe right into his face. the noises beyond the window are like the waves. songbirds sing, stray cats mewl and dogs bark, tires screech, honks blare, shops and stores open, people call for taxis, children walk to school--all rise up only to fall back into a state of placidity. the sun's rays extend.i can see it dazzling even though my eyes are closed. i wonder if it hurts his eyes. he starts to shift after a moment ; maybe it did. i think i should close the blinds, but my body doesn't respond like i want it to. (a/n: too sleepy, not disabled just to be clear)

"should i close the blinds?"

i hear his low, sleep laced voice next to me. i half nod, half smile at his thoughtfulness and mange to mumble out a word of thanks as he hoists himself off the bed and goes to the window, pulling in the blinds. i don't sense his return, until i feel his soft and warm lips on my forehead, and his hand on my hand, weaving through my hair, untangling some knots. i wish he would stop it. it hurts. i guess the discomfort came to reflect on my face, because he stops, then.

"does it hurt? i'm sorry,"

"it's okay."

not feeling as drowsy as before, i crack my eyes open a fraction and look at him, finding him doing the same with me. his fingers now settle to gentle caresses.his bed hair sticks up at odd angles, the dye fading to a darker shade of flaxen, much like moistened sand. his bare melanin skin is littered with marks and spots that he is so insecure of. it pains me to see him not realize how truly beautiful he is. he is more beautiful than the earth's entirety to me. he isn't marked with flaws ; they are the craters on celestial bodies, the starspots on the stars, the footprints on the moon, the comets zooming through the vast stretch of space.the thoughts bring a dampness to my eyes, and his eyebrows knit in concern and confusion. his unoccupied hand cups my cheek.

"what are you thinking about?" he murmurs in a voice close to a whisper, his lips pink and chapped, like cherry-flavored lollipop that was crushed.

i shake my head, humming in reassurance, and cuddle closer into him. "nothing, i just love you." i let out offhand, leaving the panic over what i just said for later.

"oh" he says, stunned by my out-of-the-blue confession, "Well, in that case, i love you too."

did you like this. I am so sorry for my inactivity I've been super busy and my internet was fucked up for more than two months I missed thru an entire comeback wow. On the other hand I'm getting into mx so if anybody here is a monbebe hmu uwu

ALso hyungwon on top is me thinking about how I need to maintain my distinction in my sophomore year starting August whilst stanning two groups uh being multi is hard