The Beast Within Us

Chapter 33: ⑄ Chala

⑄ The weeks following Darryn's death were hard, not only because of the departure of her friend, but also the emotional disarray of her lover. Yara did not cope well with the death of her previous lover, withdrawing into a catatonic shell of herself and spending days isolated in her cabin despite Chala's best efforts to rouse her. The tigress worried for her wardeness as she cared for her as best as she could. It was painful to watch Yara grieve so deeply for him, both physically and emotionally, though only because of how she could see it tearing the other woman apart.

Only on occasion could she ever convince Yara to eat or leave her caravan, though it was the most breakthrough she could ever achieve with the wardeness on any given day. Gone were their shared half smiles and little moments together. The brunette had completely closed herself off from her hewan, never acknowledging her presence or her aid on better days, yelling and treating her horribly on her worst. As the tigress struggled to do her best for her lover, to be there for her in her time of need, she was treated as the servant she'd been presented as on the first day they'd met. And it pained her.

If there was ever a time to leave and secure her freedom, it would be now – the thought had entered her mind on many hard nights. In the end, she never followed through. It simply wasn't who she was, among other things, and Chala could not leave Yara to grieve alone – it would break her, she knew. To lose not only one of the people she loved, but another so soon after the first would be the wardeness' undoing, and Chala could never, would never, be the one to do that to the other woman. Said resolve didn't make it any easier to bear when Yara would lash out at the tigress in her sorrow. There were still many nights the huntress would hold back tears of frustration, and pain, and grief of her own until she was certain her lover was too deeply asleep to notice. But it did give her resolve to weather the storm until the sun inevitable broke through, the day when Yara would come back to her.

On top of her struggles in her relationship with Yara and making sure the wardness of the north was at least doing the bare minimum to keep herself healthy, Chala was also tasked with heading the preparations for Darryn's funeral. The tigress had fully expected to do so alone, prepared for Yara's bannermen to be stubborn and obstinate in the absence of their warden. She was partially correct in assuming so.

A rift among Yara's soldiers had become apparent during her elongated period of grieving; essentially those that remained loyal in the face of her affair with their captain and those that had begun to doubt her leadership given the forbidden relationship. Those loyal were a tremendous help with the preparations for the late soldier despite things being a bit strained at first. A small semblance of respect had formed between the tigress and Yara's bannermen, out of mutual concern for the warden now and moving forward as well as the loss they all shared with Darryn's passing. The others didn't bother to hide their distaste and lack of support, but they made themselves scarce enough around camp to avoid conflict.

Chala remained wary of the soldiers that now thought her wardeness unfit to lead them, for both her personal safety and the other obvious reasons despite her lack of a collar. They no longer held that inescapable advantage over the hewan, but they made up for the loss in numbers. The hewan woman wouldn't put it past them to corner her when she least expected it without the protection Yara's presence had offered before her seclusion. Though, given the circumstances, Chala did wonder whether it would have the same effect.

It had taken her a bit to notice its absence, but the loss of her collar had released Chala from a tremendous burden and returned some of the freedom she had lost upon being captured by King Serell the night Qifi died. However, the timing of its break was strange and too specific to be a coincidence – it had fallen from her neck seconds after Darryn had stopped breathing, clattering uselessly to the floor as though its life had ended with his. In some ways, she supposed it had. The thought raised more questions than she had answers for and no one to direct her worries to. The tigress refused to present Yara with more things to worry about while she grieved.

• • • • •   

Chala woke with a large yawn, back arching in a delicious stretch as she rose to sit up amongst the fur blankets draped across her form. Her eyes remained closed as she took a few moments to stretch away the last dregs of sleep and fully awaken to face the day. She felt lighter that morning, as though something was different from before, and the thought pleased her. The first surprise to greet her was the empty space on Yara's side of the bed. It was good sign to her – recently, the wardeness only woke before her lover on good days. Before Darryn's death, the tigress had always been the first to rouse, but taking care of Yara and her bannermen was no easy task. Chala found her body coping by sleeping more and deeper when she could.

The second surprise was so daunting, so incredibly unexpected, that the huntress found herself almost unable to believe her eyes.

Yara sat before her wardrobe mirror, alert, poised, determined, and the exact opposite of how she'd been over the weeks she had coped with the loss of her previous lover. She looked confident and different in a way that Chala couldn't quite decipher, but the change was positive and immediately gained her approval. As if in need of some physical representation of her change, Yara had cut her hair short, curls framing her face in a way that emphasized her natural beauty rather than restrain it as it had before. Her eye remained sharp as they'd ever been, but there was a glimmer of some fierce emotion. The wardeness displayed herself as a woman that knew exactly how stunning she was, how strong she was, and challenged whoever met her gaze.

"Yara?" Chala called, approaching her lover from behind hesitantly, gray eyes hopeful as they met the other woman's coal gaze in the mirror. The tigress offered no continuation of her inquiry, however. Words failed her in that moment – what was she to say? Anything she thought of fell flat upon her tongue, never making it past her lips and out into the air between them. But then actions had always spoken louder than words ever could.

The tigress wrapped her tail around Yara's waist after moving to sit beside her on the bench before her wardrobe. She pried the hunting knife from the warden's hand and replaced it with her own, lacing their fingers together and bringing their conjoined hands up to place a kiss on Yara's knuckles before doing the same to her forehead. A faint smile upturned the corners of her mouth.

"You look beautiful." ⑄