I love you Mostest

Stage 1: Acceptance

Addilyn

Addilyn Jones. 17.
Isn't it funny how when you were younger you would never think that anything bad would happen? How you was oblivious to the world? How when bad things happen, you could just shrug it off? Well I'm not so young, not anymore.
Harper is dead. There I said it. The last stage of accepting someone is dead, Acceptance. She. Is. Dead. And there's nothing I can do about it.

Simon was the first to know, him and Harper's older brother, Jordan, are best friends so once Jordan knew, Simon knew. Then he told me, we were both sobbing, not being able to control ourselves. Unlike me, Simon hardly cries.
Then it was Harper's parents, they took it the worst, I mean it was their daughter.

"She's dead" Jordan said as we sat at her wake. Everyone was drinking, trying to conceal the obvious pain. "She's really gone"

"I know mate. I know" Simon said patting Jordan on the shoulder. He never was good at comforting someone who has dealt with a loss.

Jordan got up, walking to the bar, getting quite a few vodka shots, a few too many. He was 18, so the legal age here in London to drink, and we wasn't going to stop him anyway. He was doing well considering his sisters death.

I looked to Simon. I couldn't cry right now because it wasn't my place, there are people in this building who deserved to be more upset than I was. I felt that Simon felt the same way as he was looking at me in the exact same way.

"You're allowed to be upset you know" he says shuffling onto the chair next to me.

"I don't want to" I shrugged "I don't need to"

He nodded and looked to Jordan and then to his phone "It's 10:30pm Addy." He simply states. "We should head back home"

I knew he was right. I didn't think I could stay here any longer anyway. I was tired, sad and pretty bored too. Jordan was alright by himself, he wasn't completely stupid.

I nodded to Simon, standing up and saying my goodbyes to the family, Jordan last. Simon then grabbed my hand when I went to him and we walked out, to the bus stop outside the pub. We had to wait for only about 2 minutes until a bus came.

"How are you?" I asked him as we waited. He never let his emotions out unless he knew I was okay. Ever.

"I'm surprisingly fine. I know Harper wouldn't want us to be boring and mope around crying that she's gone. She would want us to accept it and live our best lives", He spoke the truth, It was what I was thinking.

"Yeah I know. I still miss her though" I shrugged looking down.

"Don't we all" he said squeezing my hand.

When the bus arrived we both got on, it was late and there were only 2 cameras on the outside of the bus and none inside which was a bit stupid if you asked me. But it was alright. Me and Simon were the only two people on the bus. We went to the top floor of the double decker bus and sat on the middle row, me next to the window and him next to me. It would take roughly an hour for us to get home.

About 5 minutes into the journey I felt my eyes closing. So I leant my head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arm around my waist and intwined our fingers.