Camren Memories

Our First Kiss (Introduction)

I broke down in tears, they descended more and more and I wanted them to stop, the pain was tearing my soul, breaking me into pieces. I wanted it to stop, it hurt too much and I was feeling like I couldn't resist it. I was there alone, in a hotel room, in solitude, with no arms to cling to while feeling that my whole world was coming down. Then I took my laptop and threw it against the wall in an effort to stop the pain, I felt that by breaking the source from which the tears arose it would stop; something completely useless. The wound was already open and bleeding.

I fell asleep as I lay hugging my pillow crying and unloading all my pain on it, and the image in my head kept repeating itself over and over again. Remembering me mercilessly that she had already forgotten me and that she was now being herself before the world, that she no longer had to hide. Although I doubt that "they" are going to let her be completely herself and even after that leaked image of them together, they would intervene in some way to manipulate the facts. I was selfish in wanting it to be that way, I thought that if I had to live my story with her behind the back of the world, stealthy from the looks, it was only fair that she also had to hide her story with her.

That image, of their kiss together, made me recall the memory of our first kiss, my first kiss ... so warm and innocent.

FLASHBACK

It was almost 12 o'clock at night and I couldn't get to sleep, even after a long day in the recording studio, we signed our contract with the discographies that would sponsor our dreams and sew our wings; everything was perfect, we were climbing. Lauren and I after hints, half steps, and indirects, finally we let ourselves go by what we felt and we confessed to each other, we crossed the line. It almost felt like living in a dream and it was everything and every good thing that was happening in my life that was keeping me awake that night.

L: Are you awake? 🙈

-Lauren...- I whispered in the silence of the night while at the same time a smile played on my lips.

C: Yes😅 haven't you been able to sleep either?😴

L: There are many things to process 🤔

C: The same happens to me😅

L: Would you like to go to the terrace with me for a while?😉

"Of course", I thought.

The minutes that I could spend alone with her were very short, most of the time there were always the other girls, team members, friends or family.

C: Yes😻

So I fixed myself a bit for her, I brushed my hair, I put on a bit of blush, lipstick, but not so obvious, I didn't expect her to notice that I wanted to look good for her. I hurried to the door and then I saw her reclining on the door of her hotel room. As soon as her eyes caught my figure outside the room she came to me, she had a smile drawn on her lips and at the same time I corresponded with another smile. She put his index finger on her lips and hissed, then took my hand, interlaced her fingers with mine and guided me down the corridor, we tried to walk silently, so our bandmates wouldn't listen. Only when we were away from the rooms we started to giggle. We got to the terrace, from where you could see the pool of the hotel and there was a couple inside but from down there they couldn't notice us. We sat in a double outdoor chair. The sky was clear and full of stars, the moon was so bright that we didn't need lights to see our faces.

-Do you think we'll become the One Direction of the United States?- she asked suddenly to break the silence.

- Well...- I smiled after her emerald eyes focused on my face-, we have already become the One Direction of X Factor.

Her smile made a shiver run down my back.

- You know? Fame scares me a little, not being able to control it- she mentioned with her eyes tied to the moon.

-You don't like the fame?- I asked with surprise.

-No, is not that. In fact, what scares me is that I want to be famous, but I don't understand what this implies. What if it doesn't turn out to be as I expected? I feel like ... I'm giving up my privacy.

-Well, you better be ready soon, because I'm sure Lauren Jauregui's name will sound all over the world shortly- I warned her with a playful tone to dispel her distrustful musings.

Then her eyes collided with mine at the same time she smiled. "God," she looked so beautiful, her eyes sparkled so intensely.

-Your eyes look prettier at night- I commented, the shine of her emerald eyes hypnotized me.

She giggled and dodged her look, maybe embarrassed, maybe flustered.

-What?- I asked puzzled, also with a giggle that mitigated the nervousness and that accompanied hers.

Her eyes wandered all over my features while I felt my cheeks burn, my body frozen, intimidated by the weight of her eyes.

- Really, I want to kiss you right now - she suddenly said and my heart overflowed in disorderly beats and the noise that it caused covered the sound of my thoughts, depriving me of reacting. Being uselessly petrified.

"Camila, react, don't spoil it"

I was only able to smile in response, but at least it was enough.

Then she brought her face a few inches closer to mine but hesitated and stopped. Her breathing collided on my lips, her eyes connected to mine. Within me began the longing, the desire to taste her lips, it was a sensation that almost dragged me to her lips. How will it feel to try them? So I didn't give place to the doubt and I gave the domain to the impulse that grew within me; that's how I ended up breaking the space that remained and my lips collided with hers.

Her lips were so soft and she bathed them in strawberry ChapStick because she tasted like fruits and that taste would remain marked in my memory as my favorite. I didn't know how to do it, I just let myself be carried away by her, trapping my lips between hers and feeling like a cold and wet caress, subtle and magical. The world around us disappeared; suddenly it was only her who stole all my concentration. Her tongue made its way into my mouth and at first, the sensation contracted my muscles, until I discovered how placid it was and the electric currents that it caused me and I melted before it.

"No, Lauren ... I wouldn't escape from your lips"

END OF FLASHBACK

I wish that instant had frozen forever.