Aoede had finally finished interviewing everyone but there were still no clues on Lightning’s whereabouts. It disappointed her but she realized Lightning finally had the peace she fought so hard for. Aoede was now on a train to France because reasons. She looked down at her phone to see her picture of Michael Jackson.
"We’ll be home soon, Michael. I just wanna get a bagel first jfc" she told the picture. People on the train started to look at her like she was on crack. One however was busy looking out the window. She had pink hair just like Serah. She’s the one.This must’ve been Lightning. Aoede pooped a little with excitement and told everyone on twitter.
The train stopped and Lightning grabbed her suit case and walked out of the train. Aoede decided to follow her. Lightning was walking to a cafe that wasn’t Starbucks. She sat at a table that was far away from people and set her suit case down and opened it. She pulled out a big ass book and began to read. Aoede grabbed a newspaper out of her ass and sat down at a table opposite her.
After 30 minutes, Lightning got up and went to the bathroom. This was Aoede’s chance. She got up from her table and ran to Lightning’s.
After a very long pee, Lightning returned to her table to find a stranger.
"Who are you?" she asked clearly annoyed. Lightning noticed something was missing. "Did you eat my damn bagel?"
"I’m Aoede, i’ve been interviewing your friends about the life you had before this one." she replied. She totally ate Light’s bagel but she wasn’t gonna tell her that.
"So, you wanna ask these questions?" Light suggested as she took her seat still kinda looking around for her missing bagel.
"Uh, yes. How did your story begin?" Aoede asked ready to write everything that came out of Lightning’s majestic mouth down.
"Well my mother and father did the frickle frackle and then 9 months later i came out" Lightning simply answered.
Aoede smiled and looked at her Michael Jackson picture. Lightning is a smartass.
"Go on" Aoede insisted. Lightning continued to talk about growing up without her parents.
"Then one day my sister made me birthday cake and told me she was gonna marry this stupid giant blonde man, Snow…….oh and then she said she was a L’Cie. I got mad so i shouted at them and then got very drunk. Then more shit started to go down. We all got turned into L’Cie and Hope pooped his pants. Then we found out it was the pope’s fault so we spanked his crusty ass, then he turned into a Fal’cie and we again spanked his crusty ass." Lightning added.
"What happened after you spanked Orphan’s crusty ass?" Aoede asked.
"Some wacky magic shit happened and then i disappeared from the time line and ended up at this gothic beach, Valhalla, and Etro made me her bitch. I was made to fight this purple power ranger, Caius, which i did for a long time and then i took a 500 year nap after Serah kicked the bucket." Lightning explained.
Aoede was amazed. Lightning was hella old but her ass was still tight as fuck aw yisss.
"Then i woke up and this bitch Bhuni told me i had like 13 days to save the planet. I was drunk most of the time but i managed to pull it off and now i’m here." Lightning concluded.
"Wow" Aoede drawled.
Lightning and Aoede walked out of the cafe together. Lightning turned to her and shook her hand.
"Thank you for answering my questions" Aoede told the pink haired goddess slay mama slay.
Lightning smiled and began to walk off. Carrying on with the peaceful life she deserved.
Aoede smiled widely and looked up at the sky.
Thank you Obama
