Why Me?

Chapter 11

Alex's POV

I'm sitting on the bed with my head buried in my arms. My legs pulled in tight. I'm crying, I'm not sure why. No I am sure. I don't want to think about but I know why. I think today is dad's birthday, also the day he died. Dad was traveling back home for his birthday, the day he got into a plane crash. Dad died on the day he was born, it's the saddest thing. My birthday is 4 days after dad's birthday, we always celebrated our birthday together. I never got to celebrate with dad, one of the most memorable days turned into one of the worst days of my life. I hate it.

*There's a knock on the door and I see Tony walk in*

I have to know for sure if today is the day.

"What day is it Tony?" I ask through cries

"...It's May 4th, Friday." He answers hesitantly

I thought so

*I start to cry uncontrollably, tear after tear after tear*

I hope Tony doesn't ask me what's wrong, I'll just start crying more. I'll think about everything, all the memories I shared with daddy my whole life. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Not right now.

As I'm crying I feel the bed dip a little bit, he's sitting next to me. Next thing I know I feel his hand on my back rubbing it gently in circles, It's comforting.

*I turned around, and lay my head on his chest with my right arm around him and my left hand holding his*

We just sit there like that, me bawling my eyes out on his t-shirt. And him comforting me in silence. He didn't have to express his support through words, I can hear him. His actions are beyond what I needed. I'm glad he knew not to ask, I'm so tired of people always asking me that. "What's wrong?", "You don't look like you're okay, tell me what happened" after some time it gets tiring to keep up the facade. It's tiring having to lie to people all the time, to people who have the best intentions but don't really understand. For once someone understands. Tony understands.

—-

We're now sitting across from each other on the bay window people watching. Everyone looks so happy, carrying on with their day, they probably don't have much of a care in the world. I spot a father and a small girl on his shoulders. They're laughing and eating ice cream. Being silly with each other, like dad and I always did.

"May 4th, 2016" I say suddenly to Tony looking at him

I know he wouldn't ask me unless I was ready to tell him or talk about it. But I got the feeling earlier, that he maybe has gone through the same thing. Having to live through memorable days you once had with a lost loved one. Maybe he understood?

"It's my dad's birthday. And also...the day he died." I say

He turns to look at me

"I know how that feels, trust me. I spend every year dreading the day my parents died and their birthdays. It brings back a lot of memories, some good and some bad. I get it, I really do"

He understands. Someone finally understands.

*I half smile and look into his eyes*

"Thanks" I say

"For what?"

"For understanding" I say with a smile

*He smiles*

His smile. I saw his soul through his smile. Seeing him smile filled me with so much joy even on a day like this. I'm glad he's here with me during this.