just a story about depression

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Migraines. People think that they aren't terrible, but they are the worst thing in the world when you are me. My name is Emma and I personally understand what depression is and anorexia and other mental illness.  I have grown up it both and my own mother like to deny that I am restricting food and that I have mental break downs. he says all the time though and I hate it when she does say that I am fine and I am just making it up because I want something to be wrong with me and it isn't true. I believe that my mother just wants me to be the perfect daughter that has nothing wrong with her. when I am all types of fucked up no one notice it at first thought. when you don't know when some one is trying to fake it till they make it then tell them to stop give there body's  a break and tell them that they need to heal. the body will only let you fool the brain so far until yo lose to much blood or you get to a point where the hunger pains stop hurting and you don't feel it at all .Or you have lots our appetite so many time that every time you get up you almost pass out from being so light headed . I have done that so many times that I hit such a bad breaking point at the moment that I have to make myself feel sick when I am eating a kids meal that is enough for a toddler to eat and them still want more food . when you have gotten to that point get help from friends because family can only go so far with helping until  they make you worse and that it has gotten so bad with them trying to help that it only hurts you more. don't go for help from other websites  that only helps you get worse so try to get help from people that you trust.  

I understand that this may be hard to understand but please message me on here if you want to talk.  if you are having a mental break down right now good luck and have a wonderful rest of your night or day.

sincerely , Emma