Expressionless

Entry One - July 2nd, 2018

"If you don't get your act straight you'll be out of this house in no time!"

My deep scowl just put me in even deeper shit with my parents. It's not that I act bad, I'm actually a decent mannered kid. It's my expression that gets me in trouble. Also, I'm extremely stubborn and mean. So I guess my attitude is also a reason. I'm not really a bully, I don't find pleasure in making fun of people for their disabilities or physical appearance, I just, don't respond to pretty much anyone, meaning I ignore them or blow them off, hence why I can't make friends much, if at all.

My scowl which is always plastered on my face is one of my most charming features. Yes, it may scare people off, but I think it's my most defining feature. Anytime someone says the name Josiah Joseph, another chimes in with, "you mean the guy with the scary face?"

I find it nice.

Though it gets boring, I don't really find pleasure in having "friends". Why do I need people who would just bother me constantly when I can live a very quiet and peaceful life? As long as I have Snow, I'm happy. Snow is my best friend, though he's not human, he seems to understand me like a human would. I know, how cliché, lonely guy who's best friend is an animal. I know, it's over played and boring, but it's my life, so why should I care what you think?

Why am I waiting this in my science composition notebook? Because I thought making a diary or whatever would make me a little less pissy, and I never pay attention in science, so I needed to find a use for this notebook. I payed fifty cents for it, throwing it away would just be a waste of my hard earned two quarters.

I'm such a smartass.

So um, I haven't been in the business of writing a diary so I don't know how this work. I guess I write about my day now? Isn't that the purpose of writing the dates and stuff? Whatever, I'll get going so I can get this done quicker. No, faster. I don't know which word would be better suited in that sentence?

Alright so, my day started with my Arctic Fox, snow doing his yelp-like bark as he sat on my forehead, something he's done since his tiny ass was scratching at my window years ago. I still wonder how the hell such a little animal got to the upstairs window all by itself. After a while of his helping my mom got annoyed, so she busted into my room to yell at the furry animal. It of course woke me up, my well known scowl being the first thing she had seen from me all morning. "Mom, what the hell's your problem? I'm trying to sleep." I had said, which pissed her off royally. She went off on me about how I shouldn't talk to her like that, how she deserves respect and other pointless sh- stuff. I'm really trying to stop cussing. I'll have a more likely chance of not getting my ass hit every time I say a bad word towards my mom.

Yeah, I'm seventeen and I still get my ass hit when I cuss. Who would of though. Well, after I got my bag and walked out the door to be welcomed by the thick mass of fog which covered my view. Great kind of weather to get hit by a car while you're trying to walk to school, am I right? I finally made it to school though the fog set me back a bit so I only had a few minutes to catch up on my work before I get called to the principal's office and have to have Ms. Watson watch me as I work on my pre-calculus packet and other work.

I walked into the large high school to see it was seemingly empty, only a few groups of people hanging out near the cafeteria which was were the rest of the kids were. Now, yes, I am a junior in high school, but I just so happen to be small for my age. 5"6' to be exact. My scowl once again scared off some people except for the one person who doesn't really care about my scary look. I don't really consider her as a friend, I just communicate a small bit with her. I don't really like being near her because I had just recently found out she likes me. It was weird because she was a bit over the top with telling me, getting down on her knees in Geography class and admitting her feelings for me last Monday.

"Oh, hey, Josiah!" I heard her voice ring from behind me. I sighed and turned around. "What, Jasmine?" I asked, an obvious annoyance in my tone. "Um, I just wanted to talk to you." As I said before, I didn't like talking to virtually anyone, so someone who talked to me knowing I didn't want to talk to her really annoyed me. "Look, Jasmine, I folding last Monday, I don't like talking to anyone, you being one of the people included in the word 'anyone' so please, leave."

It was a bit rude, but that's how I roll. After I pushed her off I sat at my table which no one else sat at. It sat in the corner next to the janitor's closet. I sat my wok on the table and began to circle answers using my method. Which ended up getting me a fucking thirty. Assholes scammed me of the seventy I deserved.

My day turned weird though, because even though I turned in all my work I was still called to the Principal's office. I walked in, hoping I wasn't going to be in trouble. She ended up telling me to go to the counselor's office. Once I arrived there I was welcomed and told to sit down. The counselor called out the name, Malakai, which made me question many things. A tall girl my age walked through the door. I had to admit, she was pretty cute and her outfit was kinda cute too. Her glasses were cute too. I guess she was just cute to me. She actually made my heart beat a bit faster. But I didn't express it. "Josiah, this is Malakai. I want you to walk them around the school." The counselor explained. I sighed and crossed my arms asking why I had to walk her around the school. I was quickly corrected.

I was then told that Malakai wasn't a girl, but was a guy, which made me feel weird for thinking he was cute because I'm not gay. I was even more reluctant knowing he was kind of cute. Again, I'm not gay.

I finally was forced into it. Me and Malakai walked out of the office and I sighed deeply, staring forward. I warned him quickly that I don't like talking to people, his response was quiet and kind of forced. That kid really had me questioning things. He was quiet throughout the whole tour which made me glad. It turned out to be that I had the next class with him which made it easier on me.

I don't he got the fact that I don't like people because he sat right next to me as I sat down. Lucky for him and unlucky for me, that spot has always been empty, the only empty seat in the class.

The rest of my day was like normal. It turned out me and Malakai had ALL our classes together, I had realized once I took a deeper into his schedule. God really does hate me doesn't he?

Well, I guess I should end this segment, it's gotten a bit to wordy. So, bye I guess?

                                                                       - Josiah