Sunflowers & Roses

Ramona.

A rush.

A glance.

A touch.

A dance.

I never saw the delirious giddiness coming, yet I indulged in it like nothing I've ever done before.

---

My steps lighten as I alight the vehicle, the late-afternoon heat embracing my drained, sore body like a tropical vacation I so badly craved for. Locking eyes with orbs that glistened with nothing but pleading and hunger, I fumbled my slacks for loose change I've always remembered to keep.

It's nothing much for me, but everything for these lost souls.

The twinkle in their eyes that greets you with even the smallest of change, the most insignificant gesture to many, makes me feel a little better about the way the world works because these little acts of kindness do help them in some way.

The rush of cool wind blared almost harmoniously with the pleasing sound of the bells as I entered; already sure of the treat I've decided to reward myself with. Lips firmly shut with utmost determination to ignore the death sticks tempting me from behind the cashier; I paid for half of my after-work usual.

Quitting's harder than I've thought.

The brewed warmness only gave me a mere portion of the temporary serenity I'd hoped to claim, as I stepped out of the never-sleeping vicinity.

Greeted by scenery artlessly painted with the purest of shades, I envisioned myself drowning in the softest of comforts and dreams. With the gravel under my feet paving way for an endless path towards oblivion, I only sighed.

I chose this life.

I should know to take responsibility over my choices.

The sun-kissed breeze continued to tickle my cashmere-clad skin as I walked towards an unoccupied space. Spotting an empty soda cup, I looked to my left to see a smiling face dash away. I guess you could never judge wants over needs, no matter the persona.

Like I've said, these little acts of kindness do help in some way. And in this case I've just made a little boy have his weekly sugary treat as well.

Dusting the small bench briefly with my unoccupied hand, I sat down with my usual coffee: a cheap cup of brewed goodness with 2 small packs of sugar, and 1 small pack of creamer. Hands cupping more warmth, my gaze went far, almost too desperately.

I needed more escape.

My ears perked at the roaring engines continuously passing by, as I glanced to my right. The carelessness of one could just be the key to my overdue rendezvous.

One twist of that forgotten key could give me the thrill I so longly craved for.

I say, screw responsibility. My steps quicken, exhilaration rushing through my veins at the thought of meeting-

"Ramona, what are you doing?"

The firm yet familiar grip on my wrist loosened as I turned to face him, all traces of hope gone as I stared into his questioning eyes.

He's always had the most comforting gaze; even in the moments he doubted me.

"I thought you'd left after dropping me off darling? You've got a busy schedule ahead."

Even if I'd totally ignored his question, he cupped my cheek, giving me the warmest of smiles I've grown to adore.

"I do. I just wanted to make sure. I'll see you at home."