Cariella's Metamorphosis

chapter four

i drank and got tipsy. I've done this because of misery..  i don't know why people hate me... even though i follow the rule "just be yourself" but it looks like its a stupid idea quote to myself. i hated myself for being so nice and sweet to everyone. i hated everyone for not appreciating me.

Then i saw his father gazing at me like i am the most disappointing as ever! i stood and walked towards him furiously. i can't take it anymore these hypocrites that i tried my best to love me as i love them even just a little glimpse of appreciating me.

i went at the center of the crowd looking at his father. and i know, i'm brave enough to do this and i also know that this is not the right thing and time to do the release of all the feelings. But i don't care i want to end this misery of mine.

" No one has ever loved and accepted me for who i am. Sweet, caring, loving, cheerful, supportive, hardworking.. what else do i need to change? what else should i do to make you all like me? Mr. Jackson? Mrs. Jackson? " i was sobbing.. it was kind of blur and i know everybody was looking at me.

" i tried so hard! and believe me i can never ever change what was from the past! and judging me like i was a piece of shit?! "

" Is that it Mr. Jackson? Is that all you can do to make me go away and leave your son? You see Mr Jackson, You will never ever understand anything about me because you never knew the whole story of what really happened. "

" why can't you listen to me? why can't you love me? "

" Ella. sweet tooth. lets go i'll take you home... You're just drunk" Caleb said calmly and drag me outside the house...

I yanked his hands away from my arm...

" why Caleb? why did'nt you fight for me? You said you love me?" i asked him and i was sobbing miserably.

" Because i can't.. If i do that everything will get worst.. thats enough that you've messed up my sister's birthday! " he pointed

" messed up? yes, and i'm sorry about that. " i said apologizing and somewhat furious with his reasoning..

" sorry for messing it up... i love you with all my heart and i'll do everything just for you? you know that? " i said to him

" i'm going to talk to your father. i will try to apologize and i will do everything to make him like me" i said as my face lit up a bit giving myself a hope

" It will take time to forgive and forget everything Ella.." he said truthfully

" but i did'nt do anything bad! oh please let me try?" i pleaded and was about to cry

" what do you think you're doing, ella? " he said looking at me with worried eyes

" I will fight for you! and will never let this shit happening to us!" holding his hand tightly and he was silent.

"Caleb, trust me..." i let go of his hand and left. As I walked my way back home not looking back at him.. Clouds were rumbling as if it was protesting.. and it gets louder and louder..

i'm sick of it.. i'm sick of his parents who kept on destroying our relationship... i love caleb and i don't want to let go of him... and his father kept on making us aparr. We are old enough to know which was right or wrong and i just can't lay in my bed and cry for the whole time! Now i will be standing with my both feet, held my head high and face his parents without fear.. i'm gonna win this fight for him... for us............

i looked up at the gray cloudy sky and let the droplets of rain came on my face as i cried..

i looked back at him walking away with his back on me..

" i love you Caleb.... i love you " i said my heart clenched.