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Chapter 12

If only she could see

What she means to me

Spencer runs through my mind all day

She's all that I think about

I think about her all the time every day

Spencer runs through my mind all day

Spencer this song I wrote just for you

So tell me why you can't see

How much you mean to me

It's after midnight on a school night and Toby can't seem to get any sleep. This is the second night he's stayed up all night. His heart got crushed when Spencer told him she didn't want to spend time with him anymore. He doesn't understand what happened. On Friday, they seemed to be getting along really well. It almost seemed like Spencer was having fun. By the way they talked and laughed together she made it seem like they were moving towards being friends. Now, she's shutting him out again.

Toby uses one arm to steady his guitar while he leaned over to pick up the bottle of Tequila that he has on the floor beside the couch. He takes yet another swig of it and flinches as it goes down his throat. He's not one to drink so much that he gets drunk, but it seems like tonight would be one of those nights. He takes another drink then sets the half empty bottle down. It was a full bottle when he started. He uses both hands to hold his guitar and starts playing another song.

It's a quarter after one,

I'm a little drunk,

And I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call

But I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,

I just need you now.

By the end of the song, Toby was in tears. He doesn't know if it's because he's drunk or if he just really, really needs Spencer here. It could be both.

Across town, Spencer has been miserable too. Her parents have been keeping a close eye on her these last two days just to make sure she stays away from Toby. It sucks. On Friday, her father is leaving for a two-week business trip and her mom has a business dinner Friday afternoon. Maybe she can find a way to talk to Toby and explain what's going on. He should at least know that she's not shutting him out on purpose. Just until things cool down with her parents.

When she got to school on Thursday, she talked to her friends like she does every morning. They exchanged a few words, the bell rang, then they went to class. Spencer figured since her parents can't see her at school, why not talk to Toby at school? She could help him study in the library during lunch and talk to him during a free period. Toby walked into class after the morning bell rang. He came in wearing a dark blue tank top with a lighter blue shirt that wasn't buttoned up. He also had on a pair of sweatpants, brown slippers, and a black baseball cap put on backward.

"Toby, why are you late?" Mr. Rye asked.

Toby shrugged and mumbled, "because I'm the hottest pop star of the year and I do what I want."

"That does not excuse you for being late. You know that you're supposed to be in class when the bell rings."

"Oh, blah, blah, blah. Your mouth keeps moving, but that's all I hear."