Man Out of Time - A Captain America / Avengers Fanfiction

Chapter 28

Enough mush! It's time to get back into the action…

Chapter 28

"You're wasting your time," Clint said. "The thing is too stupid to even speak."

Steve flashed Hawkeye a grin. Just to annoy him. It was most uncharacteristic behavior for him to deliberately annoy another as though he were pretending to be Tony Stark, but he wanted to get back at them for posting video footage of him dancing on an internet video site. His gym clients had ribbed him endlessly about being the only guy on the dance floor doing something they called a 'hoe down.' Tony Stark was probably the culprit, but Tony hadn't been the one holding the camera, so Steve was treating all of them as suspects.

Clint scowled at his uncustomary cheerfulness. Ever since Natasha had dumped his sorry rear-end, he'd been an outright curmudgeon. Not that Clint had licked his wounds for long before picking up one, no, two new females. If not for the hurt way Clint looked at Natasha whenever he thought nobody was looking, the sharpshooting archer's illusions about not caring might have just found their mark. Whatever had broken them apart, Clint wasn't talking. Neither was Natasha. In fact, these days Natasha wasn't talking to anybody. Tony Stark was in her doghouse, but then, Tony Stark was always in everybody'sdoghouse. Which was why S.H.I.E.L.D. had him officially classified as a 'consultant' and not a full-fledged Avenger.

"The path of reconciliation is the first path thou should tread before thou declarest an adversary an enemy," Thor said. "It is a lesson I must confess I learned only after it had cost me the heart of my brother."

Tony gave a snort of disgust.

"I say just buy them off," Tony said. "Rounds for everyone and a good Cuban cigar. If you ask me, that's what your new alien friend needs. A night out on the town and a hooker. You'll have him going native in no time."

"Thou would knowest, Merchant of Death," Thor grumbled. "Thou buyest influence from Midgard's petty tyrants like thee were buying children's candy."

"You didn't mind that influence when you needed to get S.H.I.E.L.D. off of Jane's back," Tony shot back.

It was an old argument. In fact, they were all old arguments. Petty squabbles that usually drove Steve nuts. But not today. Today … he was in an excellent mood. And with that mood came a desire to, just once, not be the sourest puss in the room. The briefing had gone well … gloom and doom for everyone. So had the latest weapons demonstration for retro-engineered Chitauri technology. It had blown up in their faces. And then there were the awesome new bruises Steve was nursing from his sparring session with Thor, the Asgardian god taking advantage of his cheerful distraction to hand him his rear end on a platter.

"What's up with Captain Happy Pants?" Tony asked Thor.

"Commander Rogers has a date with his fair Bernice," Thor said, shooting Steve a grin. "It is a … what do you call this ritual in Midgard? The night a maiden presents a seeker for her affections to her fellow maidens for their approval."

"You mean he's going to meet his girlfriends' girlfriends?" Tony asked, one Puckish eyebrow shooting up. "Ooo … scary. If the pack decides they don't like you, Miss Bernice is going to give you the heave-ho."

"Um … we're just going to an opening of an art exhibit," Steve said, a hint of self-doubt creeping into his happy mood. "I'm supposed to meet her there in two hours."

"It's their third date," Clint said, giving Steve a pointed look. "You know what that means."

"What does that mean?" Thor asked.