It all started the day I was born. Just kidding!
About 3 weeks, 3 days, 3 hours, and 3 minutes ago I was pretty much jackhammered in the jaw by a three year old. Three, if you have already guessed, is NOT my lucky number. The whole fairytale stigma saying 'everything is better when tripled'? never happening...
So, "How did this happen to you and why are you scarred for the rest of your life?!?" you may ask. Sit down and let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, in a faraway land filled with super tall buildings and not a blade of grass in sight, there lived an early 20s girl with a wrecked apartment and a swollen mouth. After babysitting for months, dedicating her life to her boss, and hoping not to get fired, this young woman ends up with a fractured tooth. The devil's spawn aka Alexa Collandera, threw a temper tantrum and in some miracle managed to K.O. her babysitter in the jaw. The older girl woke up in a fright!
shit. Where's the baby.
She frantically looked around. A squeak came from under the kitchen table.
Ha! Gottcha!
She jumped out from behind the couch only to find the house pet.
NOT a baby.
Stealthily, Vanessa creeped into each room. Nothing found. She let out a huff. Hands on hips, knees hurting, jaw swollen, mind running in circles because she has no chance of keeping her job if she lost the boss's child. A whimper came from one of the bedrooms. Vanessa smiled a bit like the Cheshire cat as she remembered the National Geographic hunts. She tiptoed- mimicking the Grinch before Christmas. Her head was pounding with each step.
1 step, 5 to go.
The floor creaked under her. She held her breath and lightly took another.
1 step, 4 to go.
The baby fell silent, listening.
1 step, 3 to go.
1 step, 2 to go.
1 step, 1 to go.
Vanessa bust into the room, finger guns drawn, making the pew pew pew noises. Baby Alexa sat there startled then slowly began to giggle. Her babysitter scooped her up and laid her on the bed.
You little shit. Vanessa made all sorts of commotion for Alexa, to keep her entertained and to keep herself from doing a WWE on her.
Hours pass. The baby is in bed and her boss is on his way home.
Good God. I better get a raise. She hears the lock turn and the door opens.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Mr. Collandera walks in with his brief case in hand. "Here you go." He handed her 40 dollars for 7 HOURS of work.
"Thank you so much sir! I'm glad I got to babysit such an angel once again!" What a kiss-up, she thought with an internal grimace.
"No, thank YOU. Alright you can go home now. See you on Monday." He pushed her out and slammed the door shut. She let out a breath.
Lord, if you're hearing this, give me strength and patience please.
Vanessa drove home. A thirty minute drive by the way. Back to her apartment. Probably to call a dentist or something because her tooth is hurting pretty bad. She was slumped. Only 8 o'clock, phone in hand- dialed for the dentist, Vanessa drifted off to sleep with an incessant voice repeating 'hello?' over and over and over again.
