On The Run

Chapter Two

I curl up in the passenger seat, listening to countless songs play on the radio as Owen taps beats on the steering wheel and hums along. Both windows are down filling the car with freezing cold air as Owen quite obviously drives over the speed limit; I shiver and bury myself further in my hoodie, Owen notices and pulls his own from the backseat and places it over me carefully, still steering with one hand. With no hesitation I cover myself with it clutching the hood to my face, shielding myself from the outside world with the safeness that is Owen.

“Where are we even going?” I mumble through the hood, shifting slightly in the uncomfortable car seat. We’ve been driving for like an hour, we should have been home ages ago.

“Just away from town for the day, you need a break from that place.” He answers, rubbing my thigh slightly, it sends shivers down my spine, but it shouldn’t.

“How much longer?”  I yawn, pulling the hood away from my face and cuddling it close. It smells like him, the scent so calming.

“About an hour, Blair, take a nap, you look exhausted.” I don’t hesitate in nestling my head in his jumper and closing my eyes. I don’t want to know where we’re going, I want to sleep forever, Finn’s words still echoing around my head, still poisoning every thought. ‘Fat. Ugly. Disgusting. Worthless.’ I shake my head slightly, whimpering.

“Blair, stop thinking about him, everything he says is bullshit, you’re better than that. Don’t you dare believe a word he says, don’t you dare act on it either!” Owen panics on the last part, gripping my wrist slightly, I shake free of his grip.

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. He doesn’t matter, I’m not going to do anything, stop worrying. I’m fine.” I lie as convincingly as possible, smiling weakly, hugging his hoodie tighter to me for reassurance. He shakes his head.

“You’re such a terrible liar Blair, why lie to me? All I try and do is help you, but do you even want my help?” His tone seemingly angry, I hate it when he’s mad at me, it hurts. How could he accuse me of not wanting his help, it’s the only thing keeping me going.

“Of course I want your help Owen; it’s the only thing keeping me here. Please don’t get mad at me, I can’t help it.” A tear falls from my eye on to his jumper, a plain simple tear; no sound escapes my body, just the small droplet of water.

“But you can help it. You can choose not to do that to yourself, you could try harder.” His words sting as I stare shocked. I can’t believe the words came from his mouth. I thought he understood how hard I was trying to get better, how hard I was trying not to freaking harm myself.

“W-what?” Is all that can fall out of my mouth, the pain and disappointment rips through my body, does he really think that lowly of me? He stares at the tears running down my emotionless face, he lifts his hand to wipe my blotchy cheeks clean, I dodge, throwing his hoody into his lap.

“Blair, baby; I didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry that came out so wrong. I know you try so hard, I really do. It just frustrates and hurts me that I don’t seem to help you, because that’s all I want to do.” He wipes a tear before it drops off my cheek. “I just want to make you better. I’d do anything just to see you happy again,” He runs his fingers through his hair and shifts closer, our eyes lock. “And I just feel so guilty that I can’t make you happy…” He cups my face, I rest into his hand.

“Owen, you do make me happy, if it weren’t for you I’d have been dead long ago.” I mumble, leaving his hand and staring out of the window.

Owen doesn’t elaborate on the subject; he just places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently, then leaves it resting on my thigh as he continues to drive.

I look over at him, drying my cheeks; he grabs my hand and takes his eyes off the road for a second, although it feels like forever, and smiles the most meaningful smile I’ve ever seen. “It’s going to be okay beautiful. I’m going to make it okay, whatever it takes, I’ll do it…Everything’s going to be okay Blair, I promise.”