Aoede was sat at home one night drinking that holy water sent from jesus christ (vodka). Once she was drunk enough, she passed out while watching my little pony.
Aoede opened her eyes and all she saw was darkness. Aoede looked at her picture of Michael Jackson for advice, there was none. She glared at her phone and held it up to use it as a light source. She kept walking in the darkness until her body made contact with something very hard. She moved her phone to shine light on the hard thing and hoped it wasn’t a penis. It was a massive thing with a big face that was frozen in crystal. Sleeping, waiting. It was fugly so Aoede kicked it. She heard a cracking noise and looked up to see the crystal was breaking and the big ass thing was waking up. Aoede decided to film it to put on youtube later.
"Where am i?" the big Transformers reject asked it’s self. It looked down and saw Aoede. She smiled creepily. She noticed his bitchin skirt. She wanted that shit.
"Hi! I’m Aoede, i’m a reporter. Can i ask you some questions?" Aoede asked.
"…Fine, i have time to kill anyway" he replied. He sat down on a rock across from her.
"What’s your name?" she questioned.
"Bhunivelze, but many people call be Bhuni or Bitch Face" he told her with slight sadness in his soul. Aoede laughed so hard she queefed.
"So what happened to you, Bitch Face?" she asked.
"Well i killed my mama cuz she was basic as fuck and then i did some shit and had some shitty children and after that i had a nap." Bhuni told the reporter.
"Anything else?" she implored.
"I woke up and i met my BAE Lightning and tasked her to do some stuff and THEN SHE WOULD BE MY QUEEN BUT THEN MY BAE SPANKED MY ASS TO SLEEP, OMG WHY BAE WHY?!!!!!!" Bhuni said as he started crying and using his skirt as a tissue.
Aoede felt awkward so she looked at her picture of Michael Jackson. She decided to leave.
"Well i’m gonna go now, uh nice chatting with you!" announced. She got up and went back in the darkness in search for a door or a holy vagina hole to walk through. She could still hear Bhuni rolling on the floor screaming "BAEEEEEEEEEE" in the background.
She finally found a door the lead her back to her bedroom…for some reason.
"Aw monkey nuts i forgot to ask him where he got his fab skirt" Aoede whined. She looked at her Michael Jackson picture. "OMG STAHP JUDGING ME JFC."
