stray letters | nct jaemin.

four | the letter.

I hear an audible sigh and Angie walks into the room, her face a mix of worry and excitement. She skips slightly, stumbling over her own feet before regaining her balance and putting on a straight face. 

"You'll have to stay in bed for a whole week." She explains quickly, already noticing my irked expression as my jaw drops and I groan so loud that Taeyong-hyung screams at me to shut up from the other room. My vexation overcomes me and causes me to roll around in my bed and groan even louder, forgetting that Angie is just standing there watching me. 

She clears her throat and makes her way towards me, gently sitting down on the bed and resting her arm on my knee. I stop whining immediately. Instead, I feel tingles proliferate throughout my entire body, and my shivers cause Angie's hand to retract. I stare at her for a few seconds before it dawns on me- I'll be staying in bed... oh, how I LOVE MY BED!

Immediately I throw away my whiny facade and a smile makes its way onto my face, causing Angie to become even more confused than she already seemed to be. I throw my arms above my head and continue doing a little worm dance in bed just for attention. 

"D-do you need something?" Angie asks hesitantly.

"Well, since you asked... I'd like some cotton candy, please," I grin with my eyes scrunched closed, attempting to appear cute in any way. She slowly nods, her eyebrows furrowed as if she was thinking about whether dogs bark in an international language or if they all have different dialects. Well, I think about that every night. 

"But then I'll need to leave you to go buy it, right? I can't leave you alone!"

"You're right... well then, you can just cuddle with me in be-"

"I'M OFF TO BUY SOME COTTON CANDY!" She shuffles out of the room in a hurry, shutting the door closed and leaving me alone in bed. I huff to myself before searching through my drawers for something to entertain me. I spot some of Renjun's Moomin drawings laying around in there, along with the letter he wrote for me when I was leaving for the hospital a few months ago.

I smile at the drawings and pay special attention to every brush stroke and faded pencil line that graced the wrinkled paper. It's really adorable, his love for Moomin... I clutch the drawings to my chest and smile at the thought of Renjun, a 17-year-old who proudly shares his love for such a character. Next, I carefully put the drawings to my side and look at the letter once again.

Renjun's messy, yet elegant handwriting jumps out at me with its comforting words, and I read over everything again, already knowing each and every word by heart as I've already read it a million times while I was away- I mean, he did tell me to read it whenever I felt lonely...

Dear Jaemin,

The thought of you leaving us for a month, or even more, turns my eyes into swimming pools. My heart aches whenever your back does, and although I don't want you to leave me, I want you to recover even more. While you're gone, I'll take good care of Jeno- don't worry! I won't really steal him from you, hehe.

During your hiatus, I'll draw you lots of pictures of Moomin! I love Moomin so much, so this means a lot, okay? I don't just draw Moomin pictures for anyone. You're that special.

While you're gone, I'm going to miss your beautiful smile- yes, the one you're wearing right now. That smile brightens up the entire universe, and I'm extremely lucky to be able to experience it in real life, every day. I'll also miss your cute voice, your stupid aegyo and your rare screaming competitions with Chenle. He's probably going to ask me to carry him on my back when you're gone, and now I'm scared.

Also, how am I supposed to deal with Hyuck? He's so annoying! He's only soft for you, but whenever he looks at me it's like he wants to kill me! I wouldn't blame Mark-hyung if he leaves just because of him. Sometimes I get nightmares of just Donghyuck's face... I hope you don't get the same! If you happen to get nightmares too, please call me! I'll sing you a song till you sleep again :)

I love you so much, Jaemin, and I wish you all the best. I can't wait to see your beautiful smile when you come back! Don't miss me too much!

Lots of love, Renjunnie, Prince of China. (one day, I will be)

I'm not able to control the huge smile on my face, the same one that I had every time I read that letter. I never got tired of it, it was probably the only thing that kept me from going insane, eventually. Because of the boys' heavy schedules, they barely called me. Renjun kept his promise though, and when I called him in the middle of the night whenever I had a nightmare, his soothing voice and gentle singing sent me off to dreamland. 

An empty feeling rests at the bottom of my stomach- I'm home, but why does it feel like they are still so far away?