Daddy||N.M.

Im not ready

They discharge me from the hospital because there was nothing they could do. I got so scared at the thought of having the baby. I don't feel ready, I won't know what to do with a baby I'm only 18. I should be in college right now not sitting at home pregnant. And Nate is always gone on tours, he has come such a long way with his music I'm so proud and I don't want a baby to get in the way of that. I don't know why I thought this could work out.
I grab my laptop and start to such up things about adoption like the proper way to put a child up for adoption, how I can make sure he's in a very good home, and if I could have contact with him if I wanted. I just don't feel like I'm stable enough to give this little boy everything he wants. I guess everything was moving so fast that I never stopped to realize this until now. I was literally just a rebellious teen going against all my parents rules...I miss that life.
I go upstairs to Nate's room and crawl in bed with him. He kisses me in the head and says "I love you babygirl" and I reply with "I love you to Nate". Eventually I drift off to sleep in his arms.

The next morning I wake up extremely sluggish and sad. I rub my stomach feeling sorry for my little boy in my belly. I get in the shower and just cry my eyes you...literally sobbing. I can't help but say to myself "What were you thinking"
After my shower I get dressed and go down to the kitchen to see Nate sitting at the table on his phone.
"Hey mamas" gosh I love it when he calls me that "I was thinking we get some maternity photos taken... you know like professionally" he says coming to hug me as I pour some orange juice in a cup.
"Mmhmm" I say very absently
"Baby are you okay... I thought you would be more excited?"
"Yea I'm excited...just a little tired still that's all" I say walking out of the kitchen with my orange juice in hand.

One week later
NATE'S POV
Dylan has been kind of off since she left the hospital. Whenever I try to bring up anything about the baby she just shuts down. She was so excited to meet our little boy before. I'm getting concerned and so is her parents. They've tried to talk to her but she just continues to say that's she's fine and she's excited to be a new mom but she doesn't seem right.
I walk into the kitchen to make some popcorn and when I walk in I see Dylan's computer screen. It's full of adoption agencies and google searches about how to put a baby up for adoption.
Dylan walk in the kitchen behind be and says " Nate what are you doing?"
"No Dylan what are you doing? Where you seriously thinking of giving up our son?" I ask hurt and confused.
She simply turns around and walks away.
"DYLAN I KNOW YOU HEAR ME" I follow her and she goes upstairs and locks herself in the bedroom.
I bang on the door"DYLAN OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW AND TALK TO ME" I stop banging and start to pace back and forth in front of the door before leaning my back against the door and siding down to sit.
I calm myself down before speaking again.
"Dylan baby please talk to me" no answer
"Come on please just open the door" my voice starts to crack.
"Fine" she says and I stand back up.
The door unlocks and I enter as Dylan sits on the bed.
"Baby tell me what's going on...I'm here for you through whatever happened but you have to let me know whats up so I can do what I can"
"I'm having second thoughts about the baby Nate" she say with tears in her eyes.
I bend down, on my knees to the edge of the bed she's sitting on and push her hair out of her face.
"Why babygirl...I don't understand where this is coming from"
"We aren't ready. Your career is just taking off and I'm supposed to be starting college right now babe. This just isn't the right timing"
"Dylan why didn't you tell me this" I say and she shrugs her shoulders.
"Dylan please don't do this"
"I gotta think about it Nate"
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