Chapter 2
In general, life tends to knock us down quite often. We fail a test-boom. We have a breakup-boom. Our parents yell at us-bang. These little things hurt plenty all on their own and there are those who experience them all at once. It sounds like such a pushy thing. Well…I feel like that’s nothing compared to mine. I lose my footing and thrash against the lockers, hitting my head. The dull ache makes me wince, and I try to regain my focus. The blurs of color rushing by didn’t seem to notice my slip…or they didn’t care. ‘Why would they?’ Breathing in deeply, I squeeze my temples as if it would dissolve the climbing dizziness and incredibly painful hunger.
“Mariah? Are you okay?” I look up and see a girl with chocolate brown eyes framed by blonde lashes, her fiery artificial red hair surrounding her head like a halo. Such an odd combination. Nonetheless she was beautiful. With a figure that was to die for and a killer smile, you had to admit you were jealous if your eyes caught her. I inhale quickly to give myself enough strength to speak. Everyday tasks were getting complicated. “Um…yeah. Yeah, Tilly I’m fine. Just a headache.” Doubt filled her questioning gaze. “Are you sure? I don’t know I saw you trip and I just wanted to know it you were alright.” I smiled weakly at her. “It’s okay I’m good.” She bit her lip and took a deep breath. “Mariah I can help you…if you feel sick I can take you to the nurse or something.”My patience was wearing thin. “Tilly I said I’m fine, I have to go, excuse me.” I wedged my shoulder in the small space between the lockers and her perfectly thin thighs, speeding down the halls to my next class. Before entering the doorway, my eyes turned to search for her, guilt swelling in my stomach. She wasn’t there.
♥ ♥ ♥
“Hey, chica! Sit with us!” My lunch tray felt heavier today. It was usually empty. I decided to try and stomach something small. In English, everything sounded either like firecrackers or muted voices. My tray was set down for me as Claire tugged me to the bench. A mischievous look glimmered in her eyes. I was starting to worry. Claire could be spontaneous…particularly in a bad way. “Mariah! I have major news!” Sharp pain stung my eyes. “God, quiet down! I have a migraine!” I hissed. She rolled her hazel eyes dramatically, flicking me off in the process. I didn’t understand her need to be so vulgar. “Wake up and smell the mystery meat, Mariah, something HUGE is about to grace your ears!” She moved her hands in such an animated fashion you would think I was seven miles away.
My stomach spoke, begging me to eat. I discretely punched myself, hoping to tame the beats. This was becoming tedious. “Claire, what is it?” annoyance clear in my voice. She smiled so widely the dimples in her tanned cheeks indented twice as deep. “Daddy got you and I tickets to the gala on Saturday!” My gaze narrowed, warning her about what was coming next. “Claire! I told you I didn’t want to go to that stupid thing! It’s such a waste of time and money! Why the hell would you tell him to buy us tickets when I clearly told you I didn’t want to go?” The table seemed to silence quickly, the awkwardness thick in the air. Her smile faltered, the glimmer in her eyes waning. “Look Claire, I-“ “I know exactly what the matter is Mariah. It’s fine. You don’t want to hang with me, I get it. I didn’t ask for the ticket, my dad got them as a gift for your birthday.”
My birthday? When was that? Awww…she remembered. ‘Don’t worry. She’ll forget about important days like that, soon. You aren’t memorable.’ The hope I had dropped below me and I simply stared straight ahead, biting my cheek to silence my response to my thoughts. Claire’s eyes were ablaze with annoyance. Worse than excitement. “Wow…I’m sorry I didn’t know.” She looked over at Sean, her current boyfriend who sat at her right, devouring the questionable mystery meat of the day. He had this nice build to him with that soft-looking hair that made most girls drool. Me? I knew what a tool he was. Last summer he and Claire started dating. She swore she was so in love she wanted to marry him as soon as possible. We were only sixteen. They lasted about two weeks before she was hit with the realization that he knight in shining armor was hooking up with his neighbor. But who wouldn’t be able to forgive a face like Sean’s, right? His delicate fingers and beautiful words reeled him into her forgiveness…and other things. She was stupid enough to fall for it. Sean hadn’t learned from his mistakes. I catch him checking out other girls constantly. He belonged with his trash neighbor.
“Can you believe her, baby? She doesn’t even care!” Claire whined. I grimaced. Even after ten years that voice annoyed me when it reached frequencies high enough for dogs towns away to pick up. Sean bit into the soggy meat once more and shrugged his shoulders, off in his own world. What a man. I felt like such a priss. Claire just wanted to do something nice for her best friend and here I am ruining the whole best friend thing. “Actually Claire, that sounds really fun. Sorry I was just thinking I didn’t have anything to wear. Don’t we still have those dresses your mom got us for last Christmas?” Her eyes quickly regained their determined sparkle. “Yeah! But I don’t think you’ll fit into yours anymore.”
My heart froze. What did she just say? Why would she say that? What does she mean? “You’ve lost some weight since then. We can take it in, though.” I couldn’t hear her. What? Why? Why wouldn’t the dress fit? My eyes travel up my thighs, taking in how they spilled from my shorts. ‘FAT.’ Hands gliding over my stomach, I feel the rolls protruding from underneath my blouse. The panic was rising again.
“Oh! And that’s not even the best part! I got you a date!” I snap my head up and practically scream at her with my eyes. “Claire!” “No he’s really cute! His name is-“
I didn’t have time to hear her. I was already racing to the restrooms, a banana in my hand. Arriving at a stall was a blessing when purging. Arriving to an empty restroom was even better. I inhaled the piece of fruit faster than I could breathe. As soon as I swallowed the last chunk, I leaned over and became a slave once more, my fingers the whip, the thoughts my punisher.
Author's note :)
-Hello again my absolutely perfect readers! I hope you're enjoying this as much as I am! I love you very much! xoxox, Ambar.
"Why couldn't the flower ride it's bike? Because it lost its petals" --Harry Styles <3
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