"I will go in so you can be alone", he said as he stood up and went really slowly away.
Almost like in slow motion. He turned around looking offended at me so that I felt really sorry for him. Felt sorry because he needed to go through this shit. I glanced at him with red, throbbing eyes and no emotion what meant he should go and leave me alone.
"Ok,I'm inside when you need me",he whispered and threw a used up cigarette away.Ben went away so that I couldn't see him anymore.
Why are they all still talking to me!?
It was silent for a while. Too silent why I looked around waiting for this Lucy but no one came. No one ever appeared. I looked down again. Thought about things I haven't thought before. Thought about my dad I haven't even met once. Yes, Cody was my half brother. He was 14. Two years younger than me that's why he couldn't be fathered by my and Michaels' dad. Right after Sam's dead our mom got to know Cody's real father. A tall and fat 38 years old man, who seriously looked like a pig. A really ugly one. I never asked my mom what she had seen in him. I never asked because I couldn't.He wasn't nice.He wasn't tolerant. Thurman always drank way too much and was violent to everyone of us.
He is the reason I don't talk. I cut myself. I spend everyday in my dark room hiding from the world. I cry silently every night. Have horrible and unforgotable nightmares. He is the reason I tried to kill myself many times. I've never ended it,because there was always an unwanted savior, who held me back from doing it!
Because of him Cody was blind at his left eye. Because of him Michael was afraid of the darkness and had a limp. And finally because of him my mother was in a wheelchair. Thurman beat us up without caring how much we would suffer in the future. How much we would hate our lives and how much we would wish to be dead. A tear dropped at my black dress as I remembered the time with him. Everything he said still stucked in my head like an on going song. I closed my eyes thinking about the worst day I've ever gone through.
April,14th 2004
"I want beer!Give me more!", he shouted at my mom in a scratchy voice, that's why she was forced to stand up and go to the fridge, that was in our kitchen. I watched her as she left the room. I didn't like being alone with Thurman. He always looked angry and bad so that I was afraid of him. Very afraid.
"What are you drawing,little?!", he asked suddenly so that I almost jumped up and fell down of the chair I was sitting on.
I looked down at the paper in front of me and admired my very first drawing of a unicorn.
He took it away to look closer at it and shouted furiously: "Unicorns don't exist, scaredy-cat! And if they really exist they won't look like you imagine they do. They've got faces like clowns. Scary,black painted clowns! And their horns are as sharp as a sword. And as big as one too! They gore little children like you with them. Every night they are searching for kids, who are tired of life. Maybe already for YOU! Or maybe not. No one knows. Many little boys and little girls have already disappeared at night. Instead of their lifeless bodies the police just found their eyes. AND UNICORNS HATE EATING EYES! So stop drawing unicorns because they maybe will get you one night."
I tried to follow him but I was too tired and closed my eyes for which reason he socked me one really hard. Tears and blood was flowing down my face. I started to cry and my nose to bleed. It always bled when I was nervous or it was hot outside. This time I was nervous and looked really pale.
"Don't you dare to touch her again!", screamed Michael, running over to me to lift me up.
He was 18 and hardly at home since he had a job. This time he was in a good timing.
"Or what?!", screamed Thurman back, trying to stand up but he was drank too much so he fell to the ground, coughing loudly.
"You're hopeless", smirked Michael, staring at him and shaking his head in disgust.
