Do i know you?

Chapter 9: Her Side

If you had asked me to explain my feelings, I was honestly incapable of it. I didn't understand my feelings at all, but they just had such an impact on me. I felt so isolated from everyone. Ever since the Denali's came to stay with us for a while, I just felt as though I was a burden on the Cullen's. And much to my confusion, they acted as such too! I couldn't figure out what was going on, nothing seemed to make sense. While we were all sitting in the living room after the Denali's came I didn't know what to do with myself, and the crushing feeling of not being wanted was burning me from the inside out. After what seemed like forever to me Edward leaned around Tanya and hissed "What's wrong with you?" My eyes widened, just before the Denali's came he was acting so protective of me, and I was beginning to wonder if the feelings I wouldn't let myself believe were being reciprocated. I racked my brains trying to think of what I had done wrong and I began shaking with fear, hoping that they hadn't realized their mistakes. The shaking had brought me to the edge of the couch and I slipped off, falling to the floor.

I looked up to see Edward's eyes wide with amusement and I felt a pang in my heart. Emmett's laugh echoed through the room, and I tried to remember when he came in from the garage but I didn't have any recollections of it. His laugh seemed off, usually it was happy and careless, but this time it sounded more... malicious? "Why do you always do that?" he barked, and it sounded somewhere between a laugh and a growl, his face looked disgusted. "God knows what's wrong with her," he mumbled shaking his head and my eyes widened, the feeling of hurt crushing me. I looked around and saw Jasper looking at me with such hatred it burned me before I got up and ran from the room.

I spent the rest of the day locked up in the guest room, fighting to keep myself from breaking down into sobs. Something far off in my mind was screaming that something was wrong, that this wasn't them. Edward was kind, and always acted like such a gentleman. Emmett never showed me any feelings other brotherly love... apart from when they thought I was the enemy, but I had been certain that had blown over by now. Jasper was quite similar to Emmett, only he showed it in a quieter, more subtle manner, it still came loud and clear. This was not them! But how else was I supposed to explain what was going on? I just couldn't.

I lost track of time long before I heard a knock on my door. "Come in!" I called, nervously fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. Maybe this was a joke... a very bad joke. They might have gotten over what was going on with them by now, I thought hopefully.

Esme came in, but unlike her normal loving self, she looked disgruntled as if she were forced to come and check on me. "Are you alright?" she asked, but she sounded bored and entirely uninterested. That hurt more than them merely ignoring me, it was as if they were rubbing in how much they really didn't care about me.

"Fine," I growled, it sounded pathetic even to me but it was my attempt to protect myself. Hide how much it really bothered me behind a wall; it had always been how I dealt with this sort of thing. Something flashed on her face before she hid it quickly and retreated from my room. I relaxed marginally, sensing that the danger had gone.

It was late at night before I finally exited my room. I stepped out and listened down the hallway of the second floor. I heard Rosalie growl out something to Emmett from in their room, and it sounded as if she was in a horrible mood. I listened a little closer and heard her hiss "Why does she have to stay here?" I was momentarily confused as to who they were talking about.

"Come on Rose, she's technically family," Emmett tried to reason. "Just endure her," he sighed and my eyes widened with realization. I was technically family, and with how everyone was acting I was probably who they were talking about. Tears I would never shed came to my eyes as I sighed. They were just trying to endure me, probably because Carlisle was my Dad.