The Life and Times

Chapter 4 - "Snaps and the Second Week" Or "Won't Get Fooled Again"

Apparently, three attempted suicides in one day were too many for the Ministry to accept as mere coincidence. Drake was gone, and someone else was brought in-a tall wizard with fair hair and a demeanor that could not have been less Ministry-like had he been Sirius Black himself. His name was Lathe, and James was hanging upside down ten feet in the air the first time that they met.

It started with a cat and a tradition.

Mrs. Norris-Filch's pesky pet-was the cat, and the tradition-instituted by the Marauders-was pretty simple: mess with Mrs. Norris whenever she should appear.

Thus was James occupied in between Defense class and Herbology class on Monday morning, and it only occurred to the young wizard after he had finished levitating Mrs. Norris onto a fourth floor chandelier that Herbology was about to begin.

"Shit," he swore, picking up his book bag and turning towards the stairway immediately.

"What do you mean 'shit?'" asked Remus, who was with him, striving to catch up. "James, what's the matter?"

"N-nothing."

Remus glanced at his watch. "Damn it-we're late, aren't we?" James had no need to respond. The warning bell rang. "Damn it! We are late!" Both boys increased their pace to a sprint.

"This is all your fault, Prongs," Remus informed him, as they reached the Entrance Hall landing. "Why did you have to hang Mrs. Norris from a chandelier, anyway?"

"It's tradition, that's why," said James. They raced through the castle doors, book bags flapping behind them. "God, it's cold out. When did that happen? It was warm this morning!"

"Don't talk about the weather to me, Prongs. I'm angry with you."

"You'll get over it."

"I won't if we get detention!"

The two Gryffindors were so busy arguing and running that, as they rounded the corner of Greenhouse One in pursuit of Greenhouse Two, they did not notice someone standing just around the bend. As a result, James ran headlong into this someone, and Remus ran headlong into James. The three of them fell to the ground.

"You okay, Lupin?" asked James, getting to his feet and offering a hand to Remus. Dusting off his uniform, Remus mumbled something like "I'm fine," and grabbed James's hand. It was not until the two Gryffindors were standing that they noticed the third casualty.

Nicolai Mulciber glared at them. Already on his feet, Nicolai held a flask in one hand and his wand in the other. James completely ignored the wand.

"Seriously? You're drinking behind the Greenhouses? Alone, no less? So cliché."

"You do not want to be fucking with me, Potter," growled Mulciber, brandishing the wand. "After that stunt you pulled... you'll want to be careful."

James rolled his eyes. "Look, Mulciber." He pointed to himself and counted: "One." Then pointing to Remus: "Two. There are two of us, and one of you, and even if there was just half of Lupin here, I'd still put money on him in a fight. So maybe you should be careful, Bricks."

Mulciber looked confused. "Bricks?"

"Mmm, it's what I've decided to call you, on account of all the characteristics you share with a brick. Let's see, you're both inarticulate, non-sentient, and associated with being very heavy."

"Prongs," sighed Remus, but too late.

Mulciber raised his wand, and James drew his own.

"Pordiporsus!" Mulciber cried, as the same time James called out: "Levicorpus!"

The Gryffindor flew back, his body hitting roughly against a tree, while the Slytherin was swooped up into the air and hung there, as though strung up by one ankle. James recovered first, and he noticed that Mulciber had dropped his wand. He grinned.