Life Is An Onion

It's Nice Isn't It?

From a young age he had been told that he was a repulsive freak and that he should stay the hell out of the neighboring village. The towns people were cruel and old fashioned in their ways of thinking. Meaning they usually attacked anything that did not follow their beliefs. Which was okay for Shrek. 

He had always been more of a loner, and never really bothered with the hypocritical town folk. 

That was until he met Donkey. 

At first Shrek had thought the animal was annoying, some times downright hating the creature. 

But in Shrek's eyes the creature was beautiful. 

With it's glossy gray fur, shiny black hooves, and sparkly black eyes. Shrek couldn't hope to compare to him. He was too ugly. 

He had no shiny hair(he was bald for the matter), no pretty nails, and much less worthwhile eyes. 

This crushed Shrek untill, it was like he had never gone on the marvelous adventure in the first place. He was his post-movie self; cruel, moody, and territorial. 

Empathise on territorial.

Ah-yes, and the bitch who went along with them, you may be asking. 

Well simply put they sold her to a filthy rich Lord. He offered them a million gold coins for the princess. Like any smart man they sold her.

Shrek rarely brought the princess up and, Donkey did not seem to care about the princess apart from her pretty figure.

"Horn dog," muttered Shrek, watching Donkey shamelessly stare at women's bodies like if they were trophies. 

Donkey smirked, perfect white teeth shining against that ridiculous handsome face. 

"Only for you," Donkey cooed, laughing at the face his friend gave him. Shrek looked away to hide his flushed face, spotting a girl selling flowers.

She was young, and very pretty. 

Nudging Donkey, Shrek pointed out the maiden. This time Donkey's smirk became feral, enhancing his sexiness by 1000%. Shrek frowned, and went off to complete his part in their perfectly synced formation. 

Did he forgets to mention that they worked trafficking humans, mainly young pretty girls. Their consumers were massive illegal industries willing to pay millions for the transportation and well being of the girls. 

With this in mind, Shrek watched as his long time friend chatted up the girl. 

The maiden made a face, before looking down and clutching her long pink skirt. She must've said something important, for Donkey stiffened and motioned for Shrek to come over. 

Rolling his eyes, Shrek walked over. 

Flashing the young girl a dry smile, he held out his hand for the girl to shake, as she blushed and took it. 

The young maiden acted strangely, twirling her hair and biting her lips as she looked over Shrek. 

"Shrekna, my darling, this young maiden roots for the other team and, was wondering if you would consider being her date?" Donkey said, implication clear in his eyes. 

With a tight grin, Shrek accepted the date with a promise to meet the girl at the edge of the forest. When they finally finished, they headed to the bar down the street. 

"Nice spell," muttered Shrek, Donkey gave him a look of concern before putting on his trademark grin. 

As the moon began to creep up behind the clouds, the pair departed from the bar, completely sober mind you. Then they made their way to meet up with Shrek's date. 

No more than five minutes later, the young maiden appeared next to Shrek. They talked for a while but, when she came down to kiss him, clorifine tainted rag was stuffed in her face. She became limp, but not before flashing Shrek a look of shocked hurt. 

From the bushes, Donkey called out, 

"Well that went well, Shrekna~" 

With the girl over his shoulder, Shrek gave Donkey the finger. 

(I really regret writing this, it's terrible but I mean what do you expect from a Shrek Fanfiction)