Leave a Message After the Beep

Hey you, it's Jason,

I guess now isn't the time for a chat, then again neither was yesterday or the day before that or last week, you get the point.

I figured I'd leave a message for a change. I wanted to let you know that I am a hopeless, blubbering fool without you, yet I'm inspired by how happy you are without me. Become my teacher and find me a new path because you keep building walls between us and we both know I don't have a ladder.

Hand me a textbook full of your ways and I will hand you a telescope so you can find someone better than me, that shouldn't be too hard. You're precious, delicate, an angel who fell too far."

She stood by her landline, listening to his soft words pour into her empty wine glass like hot coffee on the coldest of mornings. She sat down and reached for the phone, her white skin shaking brushing the air with urgency while hesitation brushed her hair and pulled her hand back into her woollen sweater pocket.

"I still remember the first time we met," he continued. Sitting by the sidewalk, the winter breeze cribbing his coat; his mobile phone freezing over into a blanket of frost within his trembling hand. He breathed his lovingly warm words to her believing she won't listen to them; they blew into hot steam that rose above the snow like smoke from the purest cigarette.

"I was terrified to talk to you. That little grey beanie of yours, with your brunette streaks of hair along your puffy white coat... or was it black?" He paused to think, his mind beating itself against his skull for forgetting the precious details of the only thing he had left: memories.

"Black" she whispered and chuckled to herself, "it was black Jacob" she cupped her hands together beneath her chin.

"Oh it was black!" he exclaimed excitedly "because it 'absorbs more heat!'" he put on a feminine voice to imitate her soothing vocals.

"It does!" she exclaimed, laughing.

"I couldn't stop staring at you, I could've sworn someone noticed. I gathered my courage amongst the snowflakes and walked to you, each step shakier than the last; making my way from my bus stop to that little coffee store you waited outside of for that guy who never arrived. You turned to me and your eyes lit up into gorgeous green-grassed fields; two pools of enchanted emerald; it reminded me of why I was so nervous. You're too beautiful for me."

She closed her eyes, feeling them flutter and shake uncontrollably. Her upper lip trembling like a defeated warrior poisoned with new emotions.

"I smiled and you smiled back, I took another step and slipped on the ice in front of you. Talk about a great first impression" she started laughing "yet I still convinced you to follow me inside for a coffee"

"My treat" she quoted beneath her shaky breathe.

He grunted and snuffled, pushing the tears back into their sockets, but they refused. "Sounds really happy when you say it aloud, like the old fairy tales I'd read you when you couldn't sleep" he chocked on his words, she reached for the phone.

"So where did I go wrong Kate?" She pulled her hands back to her eyes, unleashing it all upon her palms. "Was it my looks?'

"No," she ushered "you're beautiful Jacob"

He sighed into the phone; he wiped his eyes and continued. "Was it my clingy calls and messages?"

"You mean the good morning and goodnight messages you'd send me every single day? Did I really call them 'clingy'?" She sulked, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of wool resting upon her tanned arms.

"It doesn't really matter what it was. I messed it all up, threw away heaven." She stood up, shoving the wooden chair across the dining room.

"No! It wasn't you! It wasn't you! It wasn't you!" she screamed with tears pouring onto her red-hot cheeks. "I was scared! I didn't know what we were, I panicked and threw you away!"

"I'm so sorry Kate. I failed you" She fell to her knees and caught her face with her hands.

"It wasn't you," she sobbed.

"It's strange" Jacob looked around him. "I always thought the concept of something ending where it began was silly, yet here I am. Only now does it make sense." Kate, confused, looked up at the phone at the table above her.

"My phone is about to die Kate. Must want to do you a favour. I hope you continue to smile through each day. I'll continue to think of you, day in and day out, I will always see those green eyes and that smile below that grey beanie. I will always hear that gorgeous laugh echoing as I feel my feet slip on the ice just like I did a year ago. I miss you, but that doesn't matter, don't let it matter; let it be meaningless, even if it means the world to me. I love yo-"

The phone beeped.

Kate wiped her eyes and repeated insightfully, "It ended where it all began"

Jacob looked down at his phone.

"Dead... great" he thought. He got up and turned around, the bright lights of the coffee shop welcomed him home; he turned to the wall he had been leaning on and saw the same vision. She smiled brightly in her grey beanie and waved to him before disappearing.

He sighed and went inside, becoming intoxicated by the smells of warm grounded grains and beans.

"Good evening, you're looking rather cold sir, what can I help you with" the beautiful barista smiled at him, her delicate blonde hair showered over her shoulders.

"Coffee please, white, two sugars" he smiled weakly back, barely noticing her.

"And what's a guy like you doing sounding so upset?"

"Long story"

"I have plenty of time, business is too slow. $5 please" he dug into his pockets and mumbled.

"Crap". He looked up at her, she smiled brightly at him.

"Listen I'm afraid you'll have to cancel that ord-"

A five-dollar note slid delicately towards the barista. Shocked, she looked up and her smiled dropped. Jacob turned to see a grey beanie smiling at him.

"My treat" Kate said.